


These Eyes Are Blind to Those Left Behind

by vagrantBreath



Series: Breached Not Broken [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Keith (Voltron), Alternate Universe, Angst, Coma, Galra Keith (Voltron), Immortality, M/M, Past Prostitution, Temporary Character Death, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:57:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8675374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: Keith never thought he'd see Galra or Altean tech again. He had run far from the Galra, and the Alteans had been killed. Earth was a safe place, away from that. A place where he could think, could plot, could search for a weapon.And then Shiro came back with a Galra arm and he met the Blue Lion.And ten thousand years of running, of searching for a weapon to fight back against the Galra suddenly wasn't enough time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The last chapter of Empty Shell Inside of Me will be coming shortly, we promise! But until then, how about some half-Galra/half-Altean Keith action?
> 
> As some might know, Klance is not one of my ships. But I wanted to step outside of my comfort zone and try something new. Hopefully, this will work out.
> 
> And so many thanks to infiniterhapsody. She helped me through planning this. I can't thank her enough.

This was the perfect moment. She wasn’t paying attention at all. He could sneak up behind her easily without her noticing. A broad grin crossed his face as she sighed, putting down her data slate and rubbing her eyes. Just a little more and-

She laughed as he pounced on her. He playfully bit her hair, growling into one long, pointed ear. She turned so one of her arms wrapped around him, hauling him to her lap as she laughed. “My little cub, what are you doing?”

”I’m bored.”

”Your papa is busy too?”

”You’re both always busy,” he complained. “And I have no one to play with.”

”I’m sorry, little cub.” Her long delicate fingers brushed back his fur. “How about this? I finish this paperwork, and then I’ll come play with you.”

”I’m bored now!”

She sighed. “Little cub, we can’t let this paperwork sit here. You know how important this treaty is.”

He did. He sulked, crossing his arms. “I’m still bored.”

She sighed, and he looked over at her, into her...

... she didn’t have eyes. She didn’t have a face. Just a blur of a memory, of...

He looked down. His legs were suddenly much longer, much more adult. The hands in his lap suddenly grew, a pair of gloves covering them. “I’m dreaming, aren’t I.”

”You miss us, little cub. It’s okay to dream about us every once and awhile.”

”I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She kissed his cheek, and he should have known. He couldn’t feel her fingers in his fur. He couldn’t feel that kiss. “We’re always with you, as long as you remember us.”

”I know, my cub. It’s time to wake up.”

”Okay,” he whispered. “I love you, Mama.”

  


* * *

  


Keith’s eyes opened slowly. The ceiling wasn’t what he wanted to see, but it was familiar. He had been here for a while, in this shack. Too long... too long even here, on Earth. Keith took a deep breath, finally sitting up and staring at his hands.

He hadn’t dreamt of his mother in a long time. The fact he couldn’t remember her face made sense, but... he sighed, clenching a fist. It had been so long since he had even seen her face. Quiznak, he was lucky he didn’t dream of the last time he saw her. A shiver ran up his spine at the thought, at the memory that brought back.

Fucking Galra. His lips quirked at the human curse as he got out of bed, shedding clothes as he walked towards the shower. That was one good thing about being here. English, at least, had a lot of fun words to learn and know.

As always, the shower was turned as cold as he could take it. Desert heat annoyed him. But at least here, he could think. He could examine. He could _find._ There was something out here that he needed. But there was just enough information to slip through all the cracks. Just enough to keep him interested without telling him a thing.

What he did know... Keith sighed, turning the shower off. Something about it was familiar. Intimately so. Almost uncomfortably familiar. But he had to find out what it was. Something told him it was exactly what he needed, what he had been looking for since the Galra-

Keith shook his head. He wasn’t going to remember that right now. Just focus on what he needed.

Once he dressed, he went over to his wall, studying the information laid out. One hand lifted to his chin, eyes caught on the circle. There was an energy source there, a spike he hadn’t seen before. And the images, the lion faces... they were uncomfortably familiar. His gloved hand shivered, and he lowered it. It was probably a coincidence. They couldn’t have made it this far out.

His fingers curled into a fist, and he ignored the sting of pain as the tip of his gloved fingers dug into his palm. None of them could have made it out this far. He only made it out here because he had run, looking for something, anything. Looking for a place he could live outside Galra rule. Looking for a weapon.

And now he might have found it. Something he could use.

Keith sighed, turning from the wall. He needed to eat breakfast. No use thinking about this without something in his stomach. Besides, he had some time. He was far enough away from the Galra he could afford to take his time.

But something told him he might not have as much time as he thought. Something... Keith closed his eyes. Something that said what happened to the Kerberos mission wasn’t simple pilot error. He had known Shiro. He had known Shiro very well. It couldn’t have been pilot error.

But the Galra had to pay for what they did. And he knew what he was looking for was here. It had to be.

  


* * *

  


Quiznak, fuck, shit...

Okay. Take it bit by bit. Shiro had come back. That was good.

He met several Garrison cadets, and they helped him rescue Shiro. Eh, he wasn’t sure about that one yet. Especially since one of them seemed to have it out for him for... whatever reason. Humans still confused him.

Keith paced outside his shack as he heard everyone talking inside, one hand to his mouth. Things should have been good. They even helped him figure out exactly where that energy spike was coming from. If he could dump the humans once he was there, he would have exactly what he needed.

That wasn’t the problem. Not at all.

The problem was the arm attached to Shiro.

Galra tech. More advanced than anything he had ever seen, considering the last time he had ever seen tech like that, but he recognized Galra tech when he saw it. Shiro had been with the Galra long enough at least for them to experiment on him, for them to take his arm and replace it.

And they couldn’t be that far behind Shiro.

His hand clutched his chest, over the scar that... that had been a wound that should have killed him. He had been lucky it hadn’t.

At least, he thought it hadn’t killed him. That he got lucky. That memory, of when they came for his family... it had been fuzzy even when he woke back then. Woke surrounded in blood, with his mother crumpled off to one side, his father holding a weapon, his fur matted with blood...

Keith exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. He lived, which was all that matter. He lived, and now he was finding the first hint of a weapon he could use against the Galra. It was great Shiro was back, was alive, but he...

He didn’t need...

Keith’s fingers ached.

Quiznak. Shiro had been the reason he got into flight school, the first human he could remember being his friend. He reminded Keith so much of his dad...

But he didn’t need the humans once he got whatever was here. Not even Shiro. And he’d meet the Galra head on.

”Yo. Mullet.”

And that was one particular human he didn’t need. Keith turned, his face pulled into a frown. This one’s name was Lance, if he remembered correctly. Not like he needed to remember it after he got what he needed. “What?”

”You coming back to the group any time soon? Or are you going to sulk out here all night that we ruined your daring solo rescue?”

Keith rolled his eyes. This human was one of the more annoying ones he had ever dealt with. Apparently he had a rival? Whatever. “I’ll be back in shortly.”

When Lance went back inside, Keith sighed, looking up into the starry sky.

Once upon a time, he lived up there. He had a mother, father. Before the Galra came for them. Before the Alteans turned their backs on him.

But the Alteans were gone. And the Galra would pay. He’d make them pay.

Keith went back inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Keith was starting to regret letting Shiro talk him into joining the Garrison.

The big and short humans were fine. Smart. But the lanky one... Lance wasn’t the most annoying creature he had ever met, but he didn’t understand why he latched onto Keith as someone to consider a rival. Why Keith? Damn it. If he hadn’t joined the Garrison, he wouldn’t have this ‘rival.’

But... Keith’s hand balled into a fist as they entered the cave. Shiro had mentioned flight. Space. He had ruffled Keith’s hair, just like his dad used to. The smile he had given him had been just like his dad’s, minus a few fangs and fur. And he had just felt so _homesick_ that he agreed without thinking. So now he had a dark skinned man glaring at him occasionally as they searched because of something he had done at the Garrison. Great.

He really needed to figure out how to dump the humans, and fast. Before Lance got himself hurt for trying to beat his ‘rival.’

Suddenly, everything glowed around them. Keith’s head whipped around, seeing Lance’s hand come down from the wall. Of course. But what was-

And the floor opened up beneath them, spilling them into a waterfall.

Annoyed _and_ wet. Today was just shaping up to be a wonderful day. At least the only fur he had right now was his hair.

But when he finally landed, finally looked up into the cavern they had been deposited in...

Was that a... particle barrier? Keith slowly stood, walking over to it. No, it couldn’t be. This couldn’t-

He looked up past the barrier, into a very cat-like face.

He had seen something like that before. He couldn’t remember where or when, but he had seen something like it.

”Keith.” Shiro’s voice made him turn slightly. Any time he had looked Shiro fully in the eyes, there had been a slight panic set in his face until one of them looked away. It didn’t make sense. Shiro didn’t look at any of the humans like that. Was it because he had known Keith before Kerberos? Or- did Keith not do a good job this time? Were his features still a little Galra? Facial features and hair were always the hardest. “Is something wrong?”

”No.” Lance walked up next to Keith as he looked back up into the mechanical beast’s face. No, he just... he just knew this thing. He remembered it.

Lance’s hand touched the barrier, creating a zap of energy as-

The beast awoke and-

Keith’s eyes went wide.

_Voltron._

The image of Voltron danced in his mind, a fiery blast of a weapon calling to him, needing him. It was everything he wanted, needed. But there was just one problem with that- Just one problem as the Lion’s mouth opened and Keith could see the inside, the tech the Lion held.

That was _Altean_ technology.

Keith bit back the urge to hiss as Lance made his way into the Lion. This was Altean technology. And if he could, he wouldn’t touch anything Altean ever again. His fingers ached, both from the usual physical pain as from memory as Hunk and Pidge started into the Lion as well, Shiro looking at Keith curiously.

He had two choices. Get in, and use the Altean tech to fight back against the Galra. Use the tech of the people that had betrayed him just as much as the Galra. Or leave, find something that didn’t involve using fucking Altean technology.

But- but quiznak, it would make things so much easier with Voltron. Everyone knew about Voltron. Well, everyone that knew about the Galra did. It had been a real thing. He knew about its power. It was a real weapon, and he could fight back if he had that. He could finally stop running and fight.

But why did it have to be _Altean_?

Finally, against his best judgement, he entered the Lion. The Alteans were dead. The best revenge against what they did to him would be using their technology. A Galra-bred using their weapons, how about that? Their princess would be spinning in her grave to learn that after what she did to him.

He would just need to find his own Lion. This one... he could already tell by its quintessence it wouldn’t agree with him. It matched the annoying Lance’s better. But when he found his own Lion, he would have a weapon. And he would fight.

He would win.

* * *

The Galra had been right there. Right _there._

Quiznak. How had they gotten so close? How had he not noticed before?

And now he was surrounded by more Altean tech. Why had the Lion taken them here?

... why was this _familiar?_ Had he seen this before?

”Keith, are you sure nothing’s wrong?”

For a moment, he didn’t hear those words. He heard his father’s voice, asking him, with his birth name, if he was doing well. But no, that was only Shiro. His father had been long dead, long killed by the Galra only for doing his job. “It’s nothing,” he assured him. “It’s just weird.”

”You’re not the only one that thinks so,” Shiro assured him, which did nothing for his nerves. They didn’t have this weird feeling they had been here before. And when he tried to remember, his fingers ached. As if what had happened...

... no. It couldn’t have been tied to that. This couldn’t be that castle.

He ignored Shiro’s glances. He knew he was holding onto his human form. Everything was okay. This wasn’t that castle and he was still appearing human. They’d find out why the Lion took them here and everything would be fine.

Finally, they entered what appeared to be... no. It was a medical bay. With several cryopods. Two of the cryopods were in use, but that meant nothing. After all this time, they could have failed. There could be dead bodies in there.

In so many ways, Keith wished there were dead bodies in those pods. If they weren’t, if they were alive Alteans and he was wrong about them being destroyed...

He felt sick.

And when the beautiful woman tumbled into Lance’s arms, the Altean markings bright on her dark skin, he felt even sicker. They were Altean. They...

He recognized her. His parents had met with her father a few times in an official capacity, and he had seen her. Never spoke with her before he had been taken off, but he knew who that was. Any diplomat or child thereof would know.

Keith’s heart stopped.

_”The princess said she didn’t want to see you,” the blond jeered at him as his bodyguard grabbed him from behind. “Who would blame her? A filthy Galra-bred like you? You’re probably a spy coming to kill our princess with that sob story.” The bodyguard grabbed his hand, spreading it out onto the table. “Little Galra spies don’t deserve their claws-”_

Princess Allura of Altea.

Keith’s fingers _ached._

The fucking princess was alive. She hadn’t died.

After what she had done to him, after what her refusal had done, she had been given the chance to keep living.

Keith took a few steps away from the group, trying to keep his features under control. Not just to keep from hissing and spitting at her, but to remain looking human. This... wasn’t fair.

Why had it been the Altean princess that had been given a new chance?


	3. Chapter 3

It took all of Keith’s willpower not to walk right out of the castle. Of all the Alteans to be the Voltron leader, it had to be Princess Allura. The only comfort he took was while she kept sneaking glances at him (his disguise was perfect. Right? He looked human. Maybe... maybe a little Galra, but not enough to set her off) she didn’t seem to recognize him. Good. She probably wouldn’t have; he had only been the son of diplomats, not anything important.

But he still didn’t want her looking at him and recognizing him as Galra-bred.

”Princess, there are five of these Lions.” Shiro’s voice made him lift his head. There were five. And they only had one. Where was his? Where had the other Lions gone in the last ten thousand years? If Coran was right, the Galra were coming for them now. They needed the Lions.

”King Alfor connected the lions to Allura's life force. She alone is the key to the Lions' whereabouts.”

And that made Keith swallow a groan. Of course they would need the Princess. Why wouldn’t they? He closed his eyes as the Princess pointed out the coordinates on the star map, ignoring her. He didn’t need to hear her say who would made a good Paladin. It didn’t matter. They had their own niche.

The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. It's faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable,” the Princess continued, pulling Keith’s attention back. “Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone. Keith, you will fly the Red Lion.” Her voice trailed off her, looking curiously at him. She probably could see how little he cared for her. Of course she would. Not only would she be able to read that easily as the Princess, Keith never did bother to learn any of the niceties of diplomacy. He had wanted to be a warrior, and it seemed that was what he needed to be. “Unfortunately, I cannot locate the Red Lion's coordinates yet.”

And that was when Keith stopped listening again.

Worthless. He could have found the Red Lion by himself. It was probably in Galra hands. First place he thought of where the Alteans couldn’t find it. But that would mean that he would have to go back and- damn it. He couldn’t take on the Galra alone. He had seen resistances rise and be slaughtered. They hadn’t had enough to take them on. Voltron was enough. Voltron could do it. But they needed the other Lions to get the Red Lion.

He was reliant on the Princess and the humans to get his Lion. Great.

When he finally paid attention to the group again, it seemed they had made plans to split up. Shiro and the little one, Pidge, were going together while Lance and Hunk were going off together. Getting Lions.

Fine.

Once the four were gone, the Princess turned to him, obviously excited to speak with him. “Keith. I must ask you a few questions about humans, about Earth.”

He didn’t want to answer.

”Actually, Princess, I’d rather rest until they come back.”

”O-oh.” The Princess’s face fell slightly. “I see. If you’ll follow me, there are Paladin quarters this way.”

So he wasn’t going to be staying in the guest chambers anymore. Keith guessed this quarters weren’t nearly as nice as the rooms he stayed in while his parents were doing their jobs.

It didn’t matter. As long as he could rest and be away from her prying questions until everyone came back, he would take a cold featureless room.

But the bed was nice.

  


* * *

  


The market of R’lyh was always a mess. So many people, and not all of them could be understood by the translators. He couldn’t always tell when someone shouting at him was the hawking of wares or bellowing for him to get out of the way. It had started to get to the point he moved out of the way anyway.

He would have to move on soon. There were fewer and fewer races around now with the skin color he had chosen. It had to be the sudden increase of Galra soldiers. They were running good traders off planet. And that made it bad for him because this skin color matched his markings perfectly. He didn’t have to stress about that, just keep the hood on to hide his ears and fur.

Quiznak, his fingers hurt so much. He kept dropping things, and he bought so many items he had broken because of that. So many things he had not wanted, or needed. He would need to get more money somehow...

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard loud Galra laughter. No. He needed to move away from here. But the growing crowd made that hard, wanting to watch four Galra soldiers bully around a little girl that-

A little purple girl.

With ears like his and fur like his and Altean markings she was Galra-bred. She was just like him. Why hadn’t she shifted? Why wasn’t she hiding?

Or did she not know how? Was she too little? Did she lose her Altean parent too early to learn?

”You see this thing here?” one of the soldiers yelled out to the crowd as another pushed her to her knees. “This pathetic creature? Yeah, creatures like this are the last vestiges of the Altean race. Mama was a traitor to her race, wasn’t she?” The three other soldiers laughed as he looked away, feeling sick. “We know how to take care of race traitors.”

He looked back just in time to see the blade slice through the little girl’s neck, and for her head to hit the ground, fear forever etched in it.

Keith woke up, panting. He ripped one glove off, frantically studying it. It was pale pink, not purple, not the blue he had worn back then. It was human.

He hadn’t dreamt of that little girl in so long.

Slowly, he sat on the edge of the bed, feeling his shirt stick to his back from sweat. He knew what that dream was about. The Galra were bad. He had seen them grow, and they were just getting bigger and bigger. He didn’t need anything to tell him that the Galra needed to be stopped.

He didn’t need anything to tell him that the Princess and Voltron may be his own chance in stopping them.

He would find the Red Lion. He would fly the Red Lion.

Keith looked down at his ungloved hand, then slowly slid the glove back on.

  


* * *

  


”It’s me! Keith, your- I am your Paladin!” Oh great, the Lion was like Earth cats and decided it didn’t want to pay attention to him.

It was rejecting him. For running away for ten thousand years.

Keith grit his teeth. No. He wouldn’t let it. “I’m going to bond with you whether you like it or not,” he hissed, letting the Galra into his voice. “I need you.”

Was that interest he saw?

Recklessly, he ripped his helmet off. He didn’t like how it was a communicator, and he needed to talk to this thing. “I know I ran,” he said quietly. “But I’m done running. We need to get out of here. We need to fight.”

Nothing.

He growled, shoving the helmet back on as he activated his particle shield, one hand going to his bayard. They were getting too close. And he- no. He said he wasn’t going to run anymore. He had the power to fight back here in his hands. He had a Lion behind him.

He could win this.

And suddenly, he could feel a playful presence in his head. A strong, willful, playful presence, and the Red Lion came to life behind him.

Good Kitty.

Keith smiled as she lowered her particle barrier- yes. That sounded right. This felt distinctively female. But now they could fight back.

He wasn’t running.

He was going to make them pay.


	4. Chapter 4

Keith would take the Princess waking him up for a training exercise over another dream-memory of his past. And considering he was talking about the Altean Princess, that was saying something.

But after the memory of that slimy hand around his neck as he laid there, telling himself it was just for enough cash to make it off planet as he was used, pain shooting through him as it moved inside him...

That memory was over five thousand years old. It had been the last time he had to do that. He had found other ways to get money since then. He didn’t have to do that.

That was what he kept telling himself every time he had that dream, anyway.

”Keith.” Shiro’s voice made him pause as the rest left, his body half turned to go. “Are you sleeping well?”

He sounded so much like his father it _hurt._ Keith wanted to hug him, to tell him all his secrets, but this wasn’t his father. This was a human that had been abused by the Galra, that still was a little skittish around him because he still probably looked a little Galra. Keith’s eyes caught on the metal arm as he turned, the sight reminding him that he couldn’t spill everything to him. Not to Shiro. He couldn’t do that to him. “I’m fine. It’s just weird being in a new place. New pillows and all that.”

Shiro laughed at that. “I understand.”

The sound made him smile a little. Shiro was laughing again. That was good.

”The Princess did want us to go to our Lions. We should probably start heading there soon,” Shiro suggested, making the smile fade.

”Uh. Yeah.” Keith tried to sound upbeat. He really did. “I’ll go get changed now. Meet you down in the hanger.”

Shiro frowned. “Keith, did something happen between you and her while we were gone? You’ve been rather... distant towards her. Did the two of you have an argument?”

Damn the human.

”N-no.” Quiznak, that sounded weak even to his own ears. “You know how I am with new people. I mean, you remember how I was with you at first.” Please let that work.

By the way Shiro’s face cleared a little, it had. “Ah. Well, I’ll let her know to give you some space as well. But the others... Keith, you may not get along with people right away, but we still need to form Voltron reliably.”

Form Voltron. That had been the singular most incredible experience. He had been a part of something great for that moment. Something... where he belonged.

And Shiro was right. If he wanted to continue doing that, he needed to get along with the humans to learn how to form Voltron reliably. Keith nodded a little. “I understand.”

Shiro smiled. “Good. Now I think we should get to our Lions.”

  


* * *

  


”Take two steps forward.”

This had to be easier than the rest of the tasks the Princess and her advisor had asked them to do. None of the humans could mess this up.

And then Lance ran right into a wall and Keith sighed.

Of course.

  


* * *

  


At least Pidge had interrupted the mind meld session with thoughts of... his? Her? Pidge seemed to be passing as a boy, so his? Girlfriend? Or was it Pidge before the haircut and... whatever, human genders gave him a headache. Pidge was whatever Pidge wanted to be. And Pidge interrupted the session with the thought of a boy and a girl. So that was good for Keith because he wasn’t sure if he would be able to concentrate on Voltron forever.

And who knew what would come from his memories if he slipped up.

  


* * *

  


Feeding each other.

This...

Why.

This was ridiculous! “We're not some prisoners for you to toy with,” he told the Princess, trying not to snap at her, “like... like...”

”Like a bunch of toy prisoners!”

At that moment, he never felt so bonded with a human. Lance got it. “Yes! Thank you, Lance!”

And then food was flying at Pidge’s face. He didn’t know how he missed what happened between then and now, but he could see the annoyed look on the Princess’s face, the spoon she had used to fling goo, and Pidge reaching for a spoon as well.

And then havoc reigned.

He found the arm bound to Lance was the easiest to move. Lance seemed to anticipate his movements as he helped throw the goo around. Keith found himself laughing as food soared through the air, goo splattering against his own armor. He had never had so much _fun_ in his life! Keith’s eyes caught Lance’s, and their grins grew wider as they shifted, aiming right at Shiro together. In return, Shiro’s deadly aim earned them goo in their hair.

When they finally ran out of goo to throw, Keith found himself looking around, his chest light and airy. He had never done anything like that in his life! Who knew throwing food around could be so much fun? He looked over at Lance, and a small splash of warmth spread through him as Lance smiled back at him, wide and open.

Maybe Lance didn’t hate him as much as he thought.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

  


* * *

  


When Keith closed his eyes that night, he fell straight asleep.

He didn’t dream.


	5. Chapter 5

Oh man, he hadn’t had Nunvill in _forever._

A single sip reminded him why he hadn’t.

But at the same time, even the disgusting flavor brought back a wave of nostalgia. Keith’s mother had only allowed him to have it once, under her supervision. It was an Altean drink, and she had argued he was as much Altean as Galra, and needed to experience both sides. He hadn’t cared for it much, though apparently he had made the same face she did when she first tried it.

That had been a good time. He had wanted to try it again after their deaths, managing to get his hands on a bottle and wishing to be intoxicated. It never happened, though. He couldn’t even take one sip. The bottle had ended up being used as a bartering piece to get him onto a ship to the next space station. So his only memory of the taste had been a good one.

And still kind of was. They had fought a Galra creature and _won._ That was grounds for a celebration. It made Keith’s heart pound fast in his chest, and a grin wear constantly on his face. They were winning! And against things no one else could win against! He had finally found it. And-

He laughed as Hunk turned around, the food covering his eyes. The humans really weren’t as bad as he thought. Not even Lance. He was really enjoying being around them. It was- he _laughed._ And not just because something was briefly humorous. These humans were actually funny! And there was also Shiro, who was acting like a father to them all. Just... humans were great.

But... he turned, seeing the Princess’s eyes grow wide as their gaze met. She looked away hastily, and his good mood soured. She had been staring at him.

Maybe he wasn’t disguised as well as a human as he thought. Both Shiro and Allura had taken to staring at him as if trying to figure something out. They didn’t outright ask him, though. So maybe he was getting away with it.

Keith turned to leave, taking another sip of Nunvill and grimacing. Fuck, this stuff was disgusting. But it was time for a celebration, and he wanted to have at least one thing associated with good times.

”You look like you’ve had enough interpersonal contact for the night.”

He laughed, realizing he had gravitated towards Shiro. Towards what was familiar and not uncomfortable right now. “Yeah,” he said, leaning up against the wall as well. “It’s been a long day.”

Shiro looked back out the open castle doors. “I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he started, turning to meet Keith’s gaze. “Did you ever find anything out about your parents?”

Quiznak. He had just been thinking he was going to get away with it. “No. Nothing.”

”You had said your parents had been killed when you were young... there’s nothing left of them?”

Keith looked away. He had his father’s dagger. That was all he was able to keep from their home. Anything else had been too big or he had traded it for food, shelter, or travel. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Normally, that would stop all lines of questioning from Shiro, but that had been before his captivity. Before he had seen Galra, been tortured by them. “Are you sure, Keith? Is there anything you can remember? Anything at all?”

”No.” This was supposed to be a celebration. Why was Shiro doing this?

Shiro opened his mouth again, only for him to shut it as Hunk came close. “So uh. Guys.” Hunk rubbed the back of his head. “Allura said Pidge has something to say.”

What now.

  


* * *

  


”You can’t leave.”

Pidge stared up at him, eyes fierce. Why was Pidge leaving? Didn’t he know that they needed him? Needed Voltron? The Galra needed to be destroyed for everything they had done!

... didn’t Pidge know he needed him?

Fuck. When did he start needing these humans?

Keith had to stand down before Shiro opened his mouth, a growl threatening to build in his throat. He didn’t need to let loose a full Galra growl and reveal himself, even if Pidge was pissing him off.

He needed the humans. He...

He _wanted_ the humans around.

And now one of them was leaving him. To find his father and brother. Just... he couldn’t let Pidge turn and go-

He opened his mouth to stop him. To tell him not to go, that he needed Pidge here-

Only for an explosion to cut him off.

Without a word, they all started rushing to the explosion. The enemy was here.

When they got there, Coran’s orange hair stood out, making the growl in Keith’s throat rise again. They had hurt the advisor. And then he looked over and-

Before he knew it, he was on the ground, pushing Shiro aside. No. He had just gotten a good teammate. He didn’t want to lose Pidge and he wasn’t about to lose Lance. No, no- He wasn’t losing any of them-

”Keith.”

He just barely kept from snarling in Shiro’s face.

But the alarm that crossed it told him how obvious it was on his face.

Quiznak. Keith’s teeth grit as Shiro gently pushed him aside, picking up Lance. The power was out. He knew what that meant. They couldn’t do _anything._ They couldn’t help Lance. Keith’s hands shook at his sides as a feeling of helplessness filled him. He hadn’t asked to care about these humans...

”Shiro.” Keith looked up as the Princess turned to Shiro. “The Arusian village is under attack. I will be going.”

”Princess.” Shiro’s voice was admonishing, but she didn’t even flinch.

”I brought this upon them. It is my duty.”

”At least take one of us with you.”

”I’ll go.” Keith didn’t even have to wait for Shiro to say anything. His eyes met Shiro’s, and he nodded. The Princess wouldn’t do anything. Even she knew the importance of this. And a Paladin needed to be there. He would go.

”Thank you, Keith,” the Princess said gratefully. “Let us be on our way.”

  


* * *

  


It had been a diversion. It had all been a diversion.

Keith’s fingers dug into the particle barrier, ignoring the sharp pain in his fingertips.

Shiro was still in there.

Lance was still in there.

He growled, hitting the barrier, heedless of the Princess. Let her hear that tone in his voice. Let her know he was Galra-bred. His teammates were in trouble. The people he wanted, _needed_ were still in there, were in trouble.

”Keith, can you hear me?”

Pidge. Pidge was still in there too, and he was smart. “Pidge?”

The Princess immediately started giving orders, but that was okay. She knew the castle. She could get them inside. Get them in, save Shiro and Lance.

Keith closed his eyes tightly.

How could he have been so stupid?


	6. Chapter 6

They had gotten lucky.

That was the thought that ran through Keith’s head as he stared up at Lance’s sleeping face. The Princess being able to talk telepathically to the mice, Pidge still being in there, Lance waking when he did... It had all been too close for comfort.

And then he had growled in front of the Princess. She hadn’t confronted him yet about it, but it was coming. He couldn’t just growl in front of the Altean Princess, the one who would know exactly what a Galra growl sounded like, and get away with it. She would confront him about it.

But- Shiro had been in danger. Pidge had been in danger. Lance...

Keith turned away from the cryopod.

Lance had been in danger of dying.

He had to be in there.

Quiznak. He had started to care for these humans. He had dug his fingers into the barrier! Pain still radiated from his fingertips after that. But he had been so careful not to show that pain. So careful. That had always been one thing he could never fully shift away, and anyone who knew Galra anatomy would know what happened there.

But... after that little display, he might have just given away he was Galra-bred.

They barely knew him. They had barely started to fight the Galra. How would they take it when they found out half of him was Galra?

Would it even make it to him telling them he’s also Altean before they tried to kill him?

He had read human history. They were incredibly intolerant to what they considered ‘other.’ If he revealed what he truly was... would they really be okay with it? Keith doubted it.

He turned away from Lance, only to see-

”Yes, I think we’re winning!”

”Winning what? Keith asked, confused. They all had timepieces out.

”Well, we’re measuring ticks versus seconds...”

”Were you too busy taken in by Sleeping Beauty to pay attention to us?” Pidge asked, his voice sly.

Keith snorted. To be honest, ticks and seconds were close enough he didn’t care which they used. And he was just going to let the Sleeping Beauty line go. He knew the reference... kind of. It was a child’s tale. He thought.

The cryopod hissed open behind him, and Lance finally came out. He was okay. Something loosened in Keith’s chest, and he found himself smiling. He was okay.

Though he didn’t-

”We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!”

How the fuck did he not remember that?!

Keith grumbled under his breath as Hunk started talking. Though, if what Hunk was saying was true, and they had taken a crystal from a Balmera... the Galra were not going to be happy. They would need to liberate the Balmera or watch it die.

”This is what being a Paladin of Voltron is all about. It’s time to man up,” Hunk finished, looking at them all.

He wasn’t wrong.

They were about to get started when Pidge spoke up.

”Wait, I have something to say first. I need to come clean. And I'm afraid this may change the way you all think about me. Just so there are no secrets between us anymore, I can't ‘man up.’” Pidge looked so embarrassed here. “I'm a girl. I-I mean, I can ‘man up’ because that's just a figure of speech.” Her voice started speaking faster and faster, more frantic. “I don't have to actually be a man to ‘man up.’ I just have to be tough. But what I'm saying -”

Oh happy days he finally had confirmation which gender she actually was. It was so awkward thinking ‘male, maybe, since it seemed like the gender he presented as but dunno?’

And it was hilarious too.

Lance had _no idea._

Lance probably couldn’t tell if someone had actually been flirting with him despite being a huge flirt himself. He was so dense.

It kind of... made him smile.

  


* * *

  


The resistance fighters were still around.

Keith stared at the star map, arms crossed. The Galra controlled so much... and yet there were still resistance fighters like Rolo and Nyma around. They hadn’t all been killed.

There might even be more Galra-bred out there. More like him, with Altean blood.

Fighting.

Quiznak, why hadn’t he known they were still around? Or were they on their way to being snuffed out again, like they seemed to always be?

Keith sighed, letting his hands dangle by his sides. The resistance. He remembered joining them so many years ago... and then seeing their headquarters raided and their members publicly beheaded when he was late to a meeting. They probably died thinking he was a traitor when in truth, he had just had a hard time bargaining for his rent. He had nearly been evicted that day. And it had been all for naught, since he ran the second he saw that, shifting as many features as he could.

He heard someone shuffling up behind him, and he turned slightly. Lance.

”I’m glad you actually stopped to cut me free,” Lance said as he walked up next to him. “I was afraid you would actually leave me there.”

Keith shook his head. “It was tempting.”

That made Lance snort. “Aw, but you love me,” he crooned, leaning in.

Keith pushed him away, laughing. Lance always did make him forget his thoughts, be it by annoying him or making him laugh. “You wish.”

Lance laughed, the sound fading quickly as he looked at the star map as well. “Do you ever realize how far away from home we are?” he asked quietly.

He had no idea. He had no idea that his home no longer existed. “Yeah,” Keith said quietly.

”I know you lived in a shack away from everyone but... do you miss it?”

And for a moment, he didn’t hear that question. He heard another. Did he miss his family? His house? The visits to other planets? Being the Galra-born child of Altean and Galra diplomats?

Keith found his eyes starting to well up. Of course he did.

”I miss the quiet,” he finally said, finally understanding what Lance had actually asked.

”Dude...” Lance nudged him with his shoulder. “You thought about more than that. What’s up? Missing your family too?”

”I don’t have one. They died.”

”Yeah. You can miss them too from that.”

Keith closed his eyes. Of course he missed them.

He felt a hand on his. Gently taking it. Bumping his fingers, making pain shoot through them. He pulled his hand back, trying not to hiss in pain. He didn’t want Lance to know why he pulled his hand back. He didn’t want to explain what happened to him.

Lance pulled away, putting his hands on his hips, nodding. “Yup. I knew it. You’re human too.”

Keith just gaped at him. How did he take away that from their conversation? And what did he just try to do? Why did he just try to take his hand?

”Come on. Shiro will probably want us in the training room soon.”

Keith just watched Lance go, confused. He didn’t know much about humans, but... did Lance act like he was actually hurt about something?

Humans were so confusing.


	7. Chapter 7

Lance didn’t _seem_ any different in the upcoming days. Then again, they had just gotten finished dealing with a malfunctioning castle, so how was he to judge if Lance was different when he was nearly sucked out of the airlock?

But even after that, he seemed the same. So much so that Keith just kind of... put aside what had happened. Lance had decided to try to hold his hand for some reason, and he didn’t know why. And then he looked like he was hurt over something, and was hiding it. For some reason. Humans were so confusing.

At least Shiro was never that confusing. Keith was starting to get used to him too. Starting to get used to the fact he was around all the time, to the fact that he was so very much another father figure to him. Thankfully, he was starting to hear his own father less and less when Shiro talked. But... Shiro still felt so much like a father to him. It was nice.

The Princess, Allura... She really wasn’t all that bad. A little bossy. But he just couldn’t shake the fact that she had turned him aside when he needed her. When he needed the Altean’s help. He couldn’t... he could _trust_ her, but he couldn’t _like_ her. Not at all. And he had a feeling she knew that.

Keith sat up in bed, looking at his gloved hands. They stayed on as long as he could. He had done so before, had the extra layer of protection, but now... Allura would know. Any Altean would know what those scars would mean for a Galra-bred. And he had a feeling she knew and he was hiding it. Or that she suspected but she wasn’t asking him. Not after Pidge. She was letting him decide when to say it.

If he had his way, he’d never say it.

He didn’t want the rest of them to know one of his parents had been what they were fighting.

Keith sighed, getting out of bed. He was hungry. A little snack never hurt anyone. And the castle was now functioning correctly, so the goo machine should be safe to visit.

Suddenly, a wave of nostalgia hit him. Coran tried so hard, but he wasn’t a good cook by any means. The Altean food he had as a child... he had never found anything like it again. Coran’s cooking didn’t even come close, and the goo didn’t even try. He wasn’t going to find anything like it again.

... he was on a ship with Altean food and spices. Maybe... he could try. He had to cook for himself a few times, so he was at least passable in the kitchen. He could make something for himself. Something small.

Quiznak, that would be such a risk, though. If anyone smelled it, they would ask what he was cooking, and if it was close enough to Altean cooking that Coran and Allura knew...

No. Stick with the goo. He had to pretend he was human as long as he could.

Hopefully, that would be until they toppled the Galra empire and the others were dead.

  


* * *

  


”Did something happen between you and Lance?”

Shiro’s voice made Keith pause. He turned from the defeated gladiator, his bayard transforming back to its travel size. “Why do you ask?”

”He’s been a little off lately,” Shiro told him. “And so have you. Ever since our meeting with Rolo and Nyma.”

Ever since Lance tried to take his hand. Ever since Keith’s homesickness was brought to fore by Lance’s prodding. “It’s nothing.”

”Keith.”

Why the fatherly tone. Why. He had no defenses against Shiro’s fatherly tone. “It really is. Just... he asked me a few questions and tried to take my hand.” Keith made a face. “I don’t understand why he did- stop laughing!”

Shiro just waved his natural hand, half turned to try to hide the smile Keith still saw. “I think I understand why Lance is upset. Keith, you really don’t understand human interaction very well, do you?”

Well, he wasn’t human, so of course not. “What does that have to do with anything?”

”Keith. Lance was trying to flirt with you.”

That just made Keith blink, confused. Lance flirting was a mess. A fiery disaster of a mess. That couldn’t be flirting. It was actually... nice. If a little painful, both emotionally and physically. “But we’ve seen what Lance flirting looks like. It didn’t look like that.”

Shiro just chuckled.

Keith grumbled.

Flirting. Yeah right. As if Lance could flirt without looking like an idiot.

  


* * *

  


But because something was causing Lance to be upset, while they were decoding Sendak’s memories, Shiro decided to try the mind meld again. Because that worked so well the first time.

Maybe he was right. Maybe they needed to refocus their thoughts on Voltron, and not on what was bothering them. He knew he needed to stop thinking about Lance possibly flirting with him. Because Lance couldn’t flirt like that. If he could, he would be far more successful.

So focus on Voltron. Focus on joining the right arm onto Voltron. He could do that. Focus on defeating the Galra empire, on taking down what killed his family, what-

_Fear. He had just lost his family. He was just asking for help and- his hand was seized and laughter, mocking laughter and pain pain pain pain-_

Keith gasped, standing.

They couldn’t- there was no purple in that memory. No ears. Just emotions. They couldn’t know. They- They couldn’t-

Everyone looked sick. Shiro was staring at each of them in turn, taking in their surprise at the memory before moving on. Then, finally, he looked at Keith, at how he was standing and his eyes wide and gasping and-

His gaze softened.

He knew.

Quiznak.

Keith threw off the device and ran from the room.

  


* * *

  


Ten thousand years meant he had a wealth of languages he could swear in. And he found all of them crowding into his head as he slammed into a wall, his legs not responding right under him.

They knew. They knew what happened to his hands.

They knew why he wore gloves.

They could start to guess he had been declawed, that he was Galra-bred, that-

Keith grit his teeth. He had started to belong here. How had he been so stupid? Why had he slipped up so badly? Everyone knew now. Everyone-

He swallowed, slamming his head against the wall.

”Keith.” His eyes went wide at Shiro’s alarmed voice behind him. “Keith, are you okay?” When he didn’t answer, he heard Shiro come closer, slowly. “Everyone’s worried about you,” he said, his voice so achingly gentle. “Lance is worried.”

”I didn’t-” He snapped his jaw shut. No. He wasn’t going to talk about it.

”It’s okay, Keith. You were... hurt by someone you thought would help you. We all understand.”

Did they? Did they... maybe they didn’t know he was Galra-bred?

”It’s not your fault, Keith. You were only a child.”

Did they not know?

Keith placed a hand on the wall, steadying himself as he turned to see Shiro.

There was no anger in his face. No disgust. Just...

Love. Acceptance. Worry.

Keith closed his eyes.

”I need some time,” he whispered.

”We understand. Would you like me to walk you back to your room?”

Why was he so... much like his father? Keith nodded, mutely, and oh quiznak Shiro came over to him. He didn’t touch him, but he stayed close, stayed... it felt so good. And he remained there the entire walk. He stayed with him the entire time. He didn’t leave him.

”If you need anything,” Shiro told him once they arrived at his room, making Keith stop as the door opened, “let any of us know.”

Keith just nodded.

And entered his room.

They didn’t know he was Galra-bred. They still thought he was human, and that he had been hurt as a child after he had lost his parents.

And they still cared so much for him even after that.

They never had to learn he was Galra-bred. Ever.

He never wanted to lose that.


	8. Chapter 8

Lance wouldn’t look him in the eyes. Kept looking away, guilty. As if he had done something wrong.

All he had done was try to take his hand. What the fuck.

Humans were so _confusing._ Keith finally looked over at Shiro as Lance muttered something and left the kitchen, eyebrows raised. Why was Lance acting like that?

He could see Pidge and Hunk look at each other, then get up to leave. Which confused him even more. He didn’t get this flirting thing when it came to humans. It was obvious Lance was terrible at it, but why did him trying to hold his hand also be considered flirting? Why did Pidge and Hunk have to leave when he obviously had a question about why Lance was acting weird now?

Why were humans so _confusing?_

Shiro sighed as the two of them were left alone, setting his plate aside. “Lance feels... guilty,” he started, lacing his hands together.

”About what?” Keith just shook his head, still confused. That made no sense.

”He wasn’t aware that you had been... hurt as a child. And that your hands may be a place you won’t want to be touched. He feels guilty that he pushed you too far initially.”

Except... except it was just it had hurt. Lance touching his fingers had physically hurt.

”Keith.” Shiro leaned forward. “Please talk to him. If only to set boundaries in your relationship.”

But Lance hadn’t pushed him too far- screw it. Keith nodded. He needed to tell Lance he had to stop acting stupid. The question was, how to go about it? He needed to be able to tell Lance something that wasn’t ‘I don’t want to be touched there because it physically hurts’ and possibly have to explain he had been declawed. What would he say, though? That Lance hadn’t pushed him too far? That... that he hadn’t wanted to hold hands right then? Maybe. Kind of say he just didn’t feel like holding hands. But would that make him feel guilty too? _Humans._ He never got their train of thought. Why did he care about humans?

But when Shiro smiled at him for nodding, he felt something warm kindle in his chest. Like he had done something right. Maybe he had. That would be nice. Keith smiled in return, pleased.

”Keith, I do have my own question...” Shiro hesitated. “These people... did they do...”

He tilted his head, confused. Where was he going with this?

”Is there anything else we need to know that they did to you?”

Keith was still confused. What did he mean? “They just... hurt me.”

That didn’t seem to placate Shiro. “I suppose you would be too young then,” he muttered to himself. “You wouldn’t understand what happened to you.”

What did Shiro _mean_? “I was... thrown away after they did that.” Best way to explain how they tossed him back outside, fingers still bleeding, forcing him to find a way to wrap them up and get off planet.

And that _really_ didn’t placate Shiro. It seemed to have the opposite effect. “They did what?”

”It was te- a very long time ago,” Keith told him, fumbling over his words. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

”No one should treat a child like that. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was.” Shiro’s words came out low, heated. “You should have never been treated like that.”

No. He shouldn’t have. The Alteans should never have done that to him. Keith looked down at his gloved hands, knowing he was right. They shouldn’t have. But they did. They called him a spy, just like what the Galra called his parents, and declawed him for it.

They gave him nowhere safe to go.

And now he was willingly back with the Alteans. Willingly fighting for the Altean Princess.

”I know,” he said softly.

Shiro sat back, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken how I feel about this out on you. You are not at fault here.”

The sudden urge to just tell him, to rip off his gloves and show him the scars and say he had been declawed, that the Alteans had _mutilated_ him... but he... he would have to say he was Galra-bred, he would have to...

Instead, he just nodded. “I know,” he repeated softly.

Shiro let out a long breath. “Please, let us know if you need anything, Keith,” he told him kindly and oh, it was so much like his father he didn’t know if he could keep from telling him any longer. “And talk to Lance, okay? You two really need to talk.”

And then he left.

Keith gasped, curling up around his hands. He had almost taken the gloves off, almost shown the scars to Shiro, to someone that had been tortured by the Galra. He had almost revealed himself as Galra-bred to the worst person.

If he had to reveal himself as Galra-bred... it had to be to Lance. Pidge had lost family to the Galra, he didn’t quite know Hunk that well, and the Alteans were... Altean. No, it had to be to Lance. He wouldn’t... he shouldn’t freak out that badly.

But he wasn’t going to reveal himself at all.

Never.

  


* * *

  


Quintessence. Keith felt sick to his stomach. He had no idea. That was what the Galra were harvesting. He had no idea that was- and now that he learned, what he could have been fighting this entire time...

And now he had a druid after him.

He didn’t learn, did he. He knew druids were not something to mess with. Why did he fight one? Other than being a stupid Galra-bred that just saw something he didn’t like and let his instincts take over...

He needed to run. Move. Get out of here.

Quiznak. If he just moved a little faster, he could get out, he could-

He needed to get out. He needed to live.

Keith’s heart beat wildly in his chest as he ran. “Pidge!”

”Whoa, what did you do?”

What the- did Lance follow him? Damn it, he knew he should have had that talk with him! Maybe he wouldn’t have followed him out of guilt or something! “Lance! Get Pidge. We need a pickup.”

”Uh, yeah, Pidge we kind of need- Look out!”

Keith barely had time to turn his head before he was flying through the air. His back hit the wall hard, and he fell, groaning. Slowly, he pushed himself up to his knees. Get up. Get up, you idiot. There was a druid. Fight.

He heard Lance screaming.

And then-

A pain in his throat.

No, through. That was blood. He was bleeding. That was blood dripping from a hole in his-

He couldn’t-

He-


	9. Chapter 9

He couldn’t breathe.

Keith gagged. He was laying down on something, and he couldn’t- He rolled over, coughing. Something thick came up, a solid wad of something dark that made him gag more. He spat the wad over the side, and gagged again. More came up, more solid masses, just as dark. His helmet was in the way, he had to take it off, throw it to the side- it made a solid sound as it hit the wall, enhancing the sound of him gagging yet again-

Someone screamed.

Keith looked up blearily. His vision blurred quite a bit, but he could see familiar colors. Was it- was that Coran? That didn’t seem right... where was he? What happened?

He gagged again, and spat up another wad.

Then he actually vomited.

Mostly bile came up. But it was enough that he had to spit a few times onto the floor, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. He looked up again, his eyes watering. “Can I get something to drink?” he asked, hoarsely.

There wasn’t an answer before the door opened. By the colors, he could tell it was the rest of his team- quiznak. Keith rubbed his eyes, groaning. When he opened them, things were a little clearer. He could see everyone, and see the outright...

Fear.

Keith sat up suddenly, heart pounding in his throat. In his- quickly, his fingers touched his throat, feeling the break in the suit and the sizable scar over the right half. So he had been hurt. Lance must have gotten him back to the ship before he bled out. He must have been resting after getting out of the cryopod.

Something about that didn’t make sense. A lot about that didn’t make sense. But it was the only thing that made sense, right?

But he was alive. Keith smiled a little bit at them, swinging his legs over the edge of the... table? Why was he on a table? “Sorry for worrying you,” he told them, his voice still hoarse as he moved to push himself off the table.

”Don’t you fucking move another inch.”

What? Keith frowned at Pidge, his arms trembling. Why was he so weak?

Why did Pidge have her bayard out? “Where is Keith?” she hissed.

Okay, humans just officially confused him for the last time. He was going to dump these assholes at the next star system. “Right here?”

”Don’t fucking lie to us!” She lunged for him, only for Hunk to hold her back, eyeing him with distrust. And Lance...

Lance looked so...

Lost.

Keith swallowed, looking at them. Coran looked... terrified. Hunk, Pidge, Lance... where was Allura? Where was Shiro? “Where’s Shiro?” he asked aloud, his hands clenching on the table.

”Resting in a cryopod after Allura threw him into an escape pod. He hurt his back when she did that.” Pidge’s eyes blazed. “Because of one of _you._ ”

She didn’t know. _She didn’t know._

She couldn’t know.

”Pidge... what are you...”

”You look... kind of purple,” Hunk explained.

Keith stopped breathing.

No. No. No no no no _no no nononono_...

At some point he started breathing again. And at some point, he started breathing far too quickly as he curled up on himself. But he couldn’t stop. He- he was purple. He was- his hands came up and quiznak his ears were pointed _he was in his natural form-_

He was going to vomit again.

There was a hitched sound. A breath. But he couldn’t- he- they knew. They knew he was Galra-bred. They-

”Everyone, get out.”

Shiro.

Keith looked up, his body trembling. Shiro was here... oh no, he was in his Galra-bred form. Shiro had been abused by the Galra. He needed to shift back- but he couldn’t, he could feel it failing-

”Shiro-”

”Everyone. Out.”

”Shiro, he’s Galra,” Pidge snapped. “And he- he came back to life! What the hell! You can’t expect us to just leave you with him!”

Keith froze, staring at her.

But... he hadn’t died. He couldn’t... no one comes back to life.

”Cadet.” Keith had never appreciated just how imposing Shiro could look when he wanted to be. “I won’t say it again. Leave.”

Hunk quickly ducked, picking Pidge up and throwing her over his shoulder. Her shriek of outrage could be as they exited, far further than it should have been. Shiro looked over at Coran, who just nodded and bowed, still looking shaky. That just left-

”I’m not leaving.”

Lance’s voice was quiet.

”Cadet,” Shiro tried again, only for Lance to shake his head.

”I’m staying. I’ll clean up whatever Keith threw up there. But I’m staying.”

Shiro stared at him for a moment, then nodded. Lance took a deep breath, then looked down at the mess Keith made. Without a word, he started cleaning it up as Shiro knelt down before Keith, looking him in the eyes.

”We need to rescue Allura,” he told him gently. “How are you feeling?”

”Fine,” Keith started to say, only to shut his mouth as Shiro shook his head. “Kind of weak,” he grumbled.

”Will you be up for piloting the Red Lion when we need you?”

”Yes.” His eyes blazed. He would always be ready.

Shiro nodded. “Then get some rest. If you’re like any of the other Galra-bred I met in the arena, dying takes a lot out of you.”

Keith’s eyes went round, and Lance stopped cleaning. “You-”

Shiro just smiled sadly. “You’re not as good a shapeshifter as you think you are, Keith. And the mix of Galra and Altean features you have right now speak for themselves. Rest for now. I’ll talk to the rest and we’ll come for you when it’s time to rescue Allura.”

He- Shiro- He knew about Galra-bred- Keith just obediently laid back down as Shiro stood, blinking. Shiro knew about Galra-bred. He had known Keith-

”Lance.”

”Yes, sir.”

”Let him rest. We need to plan.”

He could hear Lance hesitate. Intensely, he wanted Lance to stay. For someone to just- stay with him. He needed someone-

But they also needed to rescue Allura. He couldn’t be selfish.

Keith closed his eyes as Shiro and Lance left.

  


* * *

  


They had gotten close to being separated. If Allura hadn’t closed the hangar doors when she did...

But they were okay. They weren’t where they expected to be, but they were all together.

And Keith would avoid everyone as long as he could.

He couldn’t shift back to his human form. He was stuck in his natural form. Maybe it was a side effect from dying- oh quiznak, he had _died._ If- that would mean he had died back then too, when his parents- he-

He needed to talk to Shiro. Shiro had known other Galra-bred. He... he should know...

But Shiro had also been a prisoner of the Galra. And if he left, he might run into another Paladin, or worse, Allura. She might actually recognize him now. She might know who he was, about his family, about-

She might remember why she turned him away.

But...

Finally he sighed. No. He knew what he needed to do.

  


* * *

  


Pidge still glared at him. He knew she’d do that. But with Hunk and Shiro around, she didn’t move.

But now they were just waiting on the Alteans.

Keith leaned up against the wall, arms crossed. He needed to appear calm. He needed to be calm. Explain things. He closed his eyes, taking a deep, measured breath.

And slowly opened his eyes when he heard the click of Allura’s heels come close, slow, and stop. He lifted his head, looking at her. This was why he called the meeting, after all. He needed to get the air clear. He needed to let everyone know. If Allura turned him away now, they all needed to see it.

But Allura only started to smile broadly, tears coming to her eyes.

”Keith! You’re Galra-bred! Coran, there are Alteans out there!”

She didn’t even recognize him.

Something inside him snapped.

”You don’t have the right to be happy about me being Galra-bred,” he hissed at her in Altean. “I put up with seeing Altean tech again, seeing you again, getting to even _like_ you a little bit, but after what you did you don’t get the right to be happy to see me as Galra-bred.”

He knew that would be translated to everyone else, but he could see the stunned looks on their faces. Not just at his words, but at the fact it needed to be translated. That he actually knew Altean.

”Alteans are dead and gone, Princess. You’re the last two. And after what your race did to me, I can’t be thankful enough.”

”Keith... I don’t understand.” Allura looked deeply taken aback. “What I did to you? I’ve barely known you for-”

He growled.

”Keith,” Shiro warned.

”Ten thousand years ago,” Keith started, his voice growling, “the Galra killed several diplomats. Went into their homes and slaughtered their entire families. They did so for the top Galra and Altean diplomats striving for peace between their races. They started with one couple, the only Galra and Altean diplomat couple to marry and have a child together.”

”Yes. I remember that night.” Allura looked confused. “It was a tragedy.”

”Not enough that you couldn’t have audience with the Galra-bred child?”

”But... the child died.” Allura shook her head. “No family members of any of the attacks survived.”

Keith snarled at her, only for Shiro to move forward, his arm activating. He settled back against the wall, taking a breath. “Yeah.” He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them, staring at her. “I did die.”

Silence.

Then everyone talked at once.

Keith didn’t even try to follow any line of conversation. He just stared at Allura, challengingly. Finally, she raised a hand, and everyone quieted. “I don’t understand, Keith,” she said, her brows furrowed. “The first is of course, if you died, how are you here? But that was also ten thousand years ago.”

”Galra-bred come back to life until their bodies give out on them, or they’re beheaded,” Shiro told her, his arm having clicked off long ago. “The two I saw in the arena were like that.”

”Oh wow,” Hunk whispered.

”But that doesn’t explain how you’re ten thousand years old,” Pidge said, her voice holding much less heat than before.

”Both Galra and Alteans are long lived,” Coran said, his voice a little sad as he looked at Keith. “It’s quite possible he’s gained a mix of their lifespans. Or quite possible he simply can’t die until his body gives out on him.”

”I’m right here,” Keith muttered.

Allura shook her head. “But more importantly... Keith? What did I do? I don’t understand.”

Keith glared at her. “Allura... I came to you when the Galra called my father a traitor and killed my entire family. Because they wanted peace. I came to you because I needed help, and I knew my parents worked with your father often. And you refused to see me.” He uncrossed his arms. “You left me to the other nobles, after a Galra attack. When I look like this.”

”Keith, I...”

”Do you know what they did to me?” Slowly, he pulled off one glove, and raised his hand, showing the scars. Allura gasped, holding her hands over her mouth, looking sick. Coran turned away, his face green. “Do you know what it’s like being declawed?”

”You were declawed?!” Lance spoke up for the first time, horror filling his voice.

Keith lowered his hand, looking at the scars running from the empty claw bed to the first knuckle. It was a messy thing. His fingers still hurt, still expecting the bone to be there. “Because you refused to see me, your people decided I was a little Galra spy and little Galra spies get declawed.”

”But Keith, I- I didn’t even know,” Allura told him, her voice weak. “No one told me you were there.”

” _Bullshit!_ ”

”I would have had audience with any survivors of that night! I was told of no visitors. Keith, I... I’m so sorry...”

”Do you think that makes up for anything?!” He had slipped into Galra now, leaving Altean behind. He had always spoke Galra more than Altean anyway. “I had grown up being called _Galra-bred_ , being considered more Galra than anything! And when the Galra tried to kill me, I went to the Alteans, who sure as fuck let me know I wasn’t welcome there as well. Do you think ‘sorry’ makes up for the ten thousand years of-”

”I know.” Allura’s quiet words made him stop.

Keith swallowed, slipping the glove back on. “I called you all here to let you know I’m Galra-bred,” he told them roughly. “And I guess now you know. I guess you know more than even I did.”

”Keith, I-”

”Don’t.” Keith didn’t quite growl at Allura. “I’ll be in my room.”

He turned to leave.

No one asked him to stay.


	10. Chapter 10

Keith would understand if everyone avoided him. He would _prefer_ if they avoided him, at least for a little bit.

Instead, he couldn’t even reach for a juice packet without Hunk reaching in and passing it to him, smiling. Was this some kind of human thing again? He could get juice for himself. They were packed a little tight and it hurt his fingers, but he could get it himself. He didn’t need help.

If he had to get something from up high, Hunk was there. Helping. Smiling.

Hunk was always there, smiling.

”Stop,” Keith finally said, rubbing his head. “Look, I’ll come right out and say it: Humans confuse me. All of you have confused me from the moment you helped me rescue Shiro. So I don’t understand what the fuck you’re doing and really? Stop it.”

Hunk flushed a deep red. “Oh. But... um... doesn’t it hurt? I mean-” He raised his hands as Keith glared at him. “Declawing an Earth cat puts them in constant pain. So doesn’t it hurt doing things like that?”

”Yeah... you’ll have to explain more than that. It’s hurt for ten thousand years. It’s not going to stop hurting just because you’re picking up things for me.”

That made Hunk look guilty. “But- if you didn’t have to, should you have to pick up those things and hurt yourself? I mean... I’m right here. I can-”

Suddenly, he understood. “Do it for me? Baby me?” By Hunk’s deepening flush, he knew he hit it right. “No. Quiznak, I’m not a child! I’m as old as Allura, maybe considered older since I didn’t spend all that time asleep. I don’t need someone to hold things for me because it might hurt.”

”Keith-”

”Fuck you.” Keith turned away, seething. What was Hunk thinking? He didn’t need someone following him around, treating him like a child. Like a _cub._ He was perfectly able to function on his own. Fuck, he had done it for ten thousand years! He had done it while his hands were still raw from the declawing and he could barely concentrate on being blue.

One hand came up, touching the point of an ear. It had been a few weeks since he... died... and he felt a little steadier. Like he could easily shapeshift again. But... Shiro had pointed out he wasn’t that great at it. He really had been poor at shifting away his Galra features, just barely making them human enough to fit in. No wonder the people at the Garrison were insistent that he had to be from another country... his features would look different enough from what he saw around him.

So he could shapeshift again. If he wanted to, he could shift back into human form. It might make everyone feel better, to see human Keith.

But why would he?

He was bad at it. They would still see Galra on his face. And he... he just didn’t want to. He had been hiding for ten thousand years. To be able to be free... why would he go back? Why would he purposely hide again? That made no sense.

So screw it. He was purple.

But something always bothered him lately. The fact he had died and come back to life, the fact any of them could die at any time- that the Galra empire was _so big_ that killing Zarkon might not topple it in the slightest-

”Hey, Keith?”

Lance. What did he want? The idea of Lance doing the same thing as Hunk, of treating him like a child that needed babying made him start to growl as Lance drew closer. “What?”

”Whoa. I just wanted to ask if you’ve seen Shiro.”

Oh. Keith shook his head. “I think he’s talking to Allura.”

”Damn.” Lance looked away. “So uh... how’re you doing?”

After coming from Hunk trying to baby him, that wasn’t something he wanted to be asked. “Why do you want to know?” he growled, crossing his arms.

”Maybe because I want to know? Dude, you died a while back. And you still haven’t gone back to human Keith, so there has to be a story there. Not that-” Lance held up his hands, eyes wide. “Not that you’re not allowed to be purple and kinda furry. It’s kinda hot, especially the pointed ears, but you know, you had your reasons for being round eared and not purple. Kind of wondering why you’re not going back to that.”

Keith growled, unable to stop himself.

”Whoa, forget I asked. Didn’t mean to upset you.”

”No, it’s-” Keith rubbed his forehead. “You’re not being an asshole. You’re asking a real question there.”

”I feel like I should take offense to that.”

Keith ignored that. “I’m... tired of running. Of hiding. And you heard Shiro: I’m not as good a shapeshifter as I thought I was. If I went back to the form I was in, I’d still look Galra to you. So what’s the point?”

At some point, they had started walking together. “I dunno. Do you feel more comfortable that way?”

That was... an odd question. Keith frowned, looking over at him. “What do you mean?”

”Well...” Lance tilted his head upward for a moment. “If you feel more comfortable not looking... what did Shiro call it?”

”Galra-bred.”

”If you feel more comfortable not looking Galra-bred, then what’s the point in looking like it?”

That logic kind of made sense. But... Keith shook his head. Lance wouldn’t understand how freeing this felt. He wasn’t hiding anything. “I need to stop running. If I’m going to fight as the Red Paladin, I’ll fight as Galra-bred.”

”Okay.” Lance smiled at him. “Then I’ll be your Blue Paladin.”

Something about that made warmth bloom in his chest. He ducked his head a little as he stopped walking, scrubbing at his cheeks.

”Whoa, you even blush purple.”

”Shut up,” Keith grumbled.

There were long fingers against his cheek, taking his hands gently. “It’s kind of cute.”

Keith felt his breath halt as Lance’s thumbs ran over the backs of his hands. What was he doing? He watched, confused as Lance lifted one hand to his lips, kissing the gloved knuckles. When his breath started again, it was uneven, trembling. What was he doing?

”Is this okay?” Lance whispered, eyes rolled up slightly to look at him.

”What are you doing?” Keith whispered back.

In response, Lance kissed the fingers, making him hiss in pain. But the touch was light, so light, almost reverent. He gently turned his hand over, laying a kiss in the center of his palm and fuck, Keith wished he could feel all of those against his bare skin, that he wasn’t wearing his gloves-

A hand released one of Keith’s, reaching up to brush across one eye mark. “Is this okay?”

Keith nodded.

And tilted his head as Lance leaned in, pressing his lips to Keith’s. He shifted so Lance’s fingers laced in with his at their sides, his free hand gripping Lance’s side while Lance stroked a hand through his fur. The kiss opened, deepened, and Keith found himself against the wall. Flashes of previous times, of clients in dark alleys before he found another way to make money, sped through his head, then left. No, this wasn’t a client. This was Lance. This was okay.

Lance’s hand on his fur stroked his cheek as he broke the kiss, nipping across his chin down to his neck to suckle a mark. Keith groaned, gripping Lance’s hand tighter at the slight pain. It felt... good. The hand on his cheek fell to his waist, stroking up under his shirt slightly.

”How far do you want to go?” Lance whispered in his ear, squeezing his hand.

He wanted-

He wanted Lance to make him _forget._ To forget, to make him feel good, to make him feel wanted and alive. To make him live in this moment, not in the moments where he had to live in the wrong skin to survive, in the moments where his hands hurt so much he didn’t know he would ever recover. He wanted Lance to make him forget he would outlive them all, that they would die and he would come back, that-

Keith growled, pushing Lance away.

Lance let him go. “What’s wrong?”

”You’re going to die,” he growled. “I know the average human lifespan. You won’t... I’m going to outlive you no matter what. And if- when you die in combat-”

”’When’? I’m not that bad-”

”Lance.” Keith laughed brokenly. “We’re all going to die in combat at some point fighting the Galra empire. The only difference is that I’m going to come back.”

”You don’t know that for sure. We’re going to win this.”

Keith closed his eyes. “Yeah. But I’m not sure it’s this generation that will do it.”

Lance didn’t answer.

He couldn’t do this with someone that was going to die so soon. That could die even sooner in battle. He couldn’t- couldn’t be that attached. Not while fighting the Galra.

And he didn’t miss what Lance said could have meant they weren’t sure he would come back to life either. But he had a larger chance of it; he didn’t feel like he was close to exhausting himself yet.

Then again, he didn’t know what that would actually mean in real life terms.

”I’m sorry.”

”Yeah, no, I get it. Relationships are a bad idea when you live basically forever. I’m an idiot. I’ll see you later.”

Lance left before Keith could even open his mouth.

Quiznak.

Keith let the back of his head hit the wall as he stared up at the ceiling. He had to be right. He couldn’t let himself get close to any of them. Even if they miraculously pulled off ending Galra rule this generation, he would still outlive all of them. He would... he would have to watch Lance die.

He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t watch someone he had grown to care for die again. Not after his parents.

It really was better this way.


	11. Chapter 11

Keith howled as he pushed Red forward, the noise bursting from him in a war cry. The Galra had surrounded them, but that was no matter. He quickly threw her into a dive at the last second, then pulled back up, aiming at the incoming ships. Someone was screaming in his ears, but he didn’t care. They were there, attacking him.

He could hear Shiro’s stern voice, trying to get his attention. A stern, fatherly-

”-need to form Voltron. Keith. Come in.”

Keith snarled into the com link in response.

”Keith.”

And that disapproving tone made Keith pause, head ducking slightly. “Sorry.” The word came out in Galra, memories of his father punishing him for being a brat spurring the language change.

”Form Voltron,” Shiro told him firmly, surprising him at the awkward and grossly mispronounced Galra coming from him over the com link. But it would make sense; Shiro would pick up a few words from his captivity. It wasn’t needed since they had translators, but... it just made him duck in his seat more, feeling more that he disappointed his father.

But forming Voltron didn’t come easy. As they started to, Keith could feel the brush of the others against his mind, and he-

He recoiled. That was the best word for it when he felt Lance.

No. He couldn’t let that get in the way. Voltron was- Voltron was what he had been working towards his entire life. He couldn’t let anything keep him from fighting as one, as Voltron itself.

He couldn’t let himself keep him from fighting.

When they finally got back to the Castle, Keith ignored everyone and went straight for his room. Someone said something behind him as he left. It didn’t matter.

No, it didn’t matter at all.

Quiznak. Keith entered his room and sat down on the bed, taking his helmet off. He stank, he needed a shower, but... well, he never liked getting his fur wet. It was easier when all the fur he had was on his head. He _had_ taken baths before his family had been killed as his fur was short and sparse enough to be towel dried easily, but it didn’t mean he had to like it.

So instead of taking the shower he so sorely needed, Keith just stared at his helmet as he sat on his bed.

If they had lost today, it would have been his fault. For not being able to form Voltron because of what happened with Lance.

He needed to get over that. He needed to get over any ties with these humans that wasn’t the Paladin bond. They would all die before he knew it. And then he’d be left alone again. No, he needed to just think of them all as teammates. They weren’t... they couldn’t be anything else.

A knock at the door made him stand. He had a pretty good idea who it was, and when he opened the door, Shiro’s presence was not unexpected. “Hey. What’s up?”

The English made Shiro relax a bit. Had Shiro been considering trying to speak Galra while he was here? He couldn’t know that much. “I wanted to talk to you regarding your actions today.”

This wasn’t his father, he told himself. This was a team leader. His captain. Keith let him in, standing as Shiro came in, his hands tucked behind his back. “I know,” Keith started, the door sliding shut behind Shiro. “I was reckless today.”

”You put yourself and the team in needless danger, Keith.”

The words made Keith’s upper lip rise. “What danger, Shiro, did I put myself into?”

”By your own admission, you were reckless.” Shiro’s voice was deeply disapproving. “Your actions could have hurt yourself, or worse.”

Keith started to laugh because was Shiro, someone who had seen Galra-bred die and come back to life, telling him that he could die out there and to be careful because of it? “Or what? I could do what I’ve done before? Wake up on a table because I just came back to life yet again?”

”We don’t know what being sucked into the vacuum of space will do to a Galra-bred,” Shiro told him, his voice dark with anger, “and we don’t know if you’ll actually come back if you die next time.”

”You’ve seen Galra-bred,” Keith shot back. “You know I’m far from my body giving out on me.”

”We don’t know what that actually means,” Shiro reminded him.

”Yeah, well, if I see a way to fucking kill my enemies, I’ll take it! Who cares if it’ll cause my death because I have a near perfect chance of coming back to life anyway. It’s a better chance than any of you.”

”Keith!” Shiro barked, and instantly, Keith looked down.

Then grit his teeth. No. He shouldn’t feel like he just pissed off his father. His father was _dead._ This... was a human being. Not even Galra. He...

”You’re on cleaning duty,” Shiro finally told him. “All the Lions, and the cryopods.”

Before he could stop himself, Keith nodded.

After a moment, Shiro sighed. “And Keith. No one will fault you for wanting to talk to someone. One of us will always be willing to listen.”

Before Keith could say anything to that, Shiro left. Which was good because he wasn’t sure if he would yell at Shiro, start laughing, or start crying.

Fuck.

  


* * *

  


Keith settled back, staring up at Red. He had left her for last, wanting to make sure he could spend all the time he could on her. The other Lions sparkled, but she _gleamed._ She was the best out of all of them, that was for sure.

He could feel a brush of her approval in his head, and he smiled.

Then his stomach growled.

Damn, he was hungry. Keith grunted, getting the cleaning supplies together. Wouldn’t hurt to stop by the kitchen and eat some goo first. It would help keep his energy level high as he cleaned the cryopods.

But once he was in the kitchen... he didn’t want _goo_. He wanted something _familiar._ Something he remembered his mother whipping up quickly for him when he needed to eat but they needed to work.

First... Keith set aside the cleaning supplies, and washed his hands. Then he started looking around, frowning. He hadn’t seen most of this in ten thousand years, and he wasn’t sure if he even remembered what it tasted like... but he remembered this root. And that vegetable. No meats. He didn’t remember this dish having meat. But it had a broth he didn’t know how to make. Keith started to cut the root and vegetable up, thinking. It had a sharp taste to it. Maybe he could recreate it with spices. He started hunting through the cabinets, tasting a few he recognized and setting aside some that he thought were right. He could do this-

”Keith?”

He looked up at Allura’s voice, his tongue still slightly out of his mouth from tasting a salty pink herb. What did she want?

Allura stared at what he had cut up, and the spices he had put aside. “What are you doing?” she asked, baffled.

”Cooking,” he said gruffly. “I was hungry.”

”We have the food goo, and Coran would always love to cook any Altean food for you.”

”Princess, you know as well as I do that Coran is not that good a cook.”

Allura tilted her head. “True.” She stared at the spices again, her gaze thoughtful. “Are you trying to make an Altean dish?”

Keith grunted. Why did she want to know? “I don’t remember a lot of it.”

”I’m afraid I’m no help,” she admitted. “I never was allowed in the kitchen. I wouldn’t know what to do.”

He just grunted again. That was fine. Keith started pulling out more spices, tasting them until he finally got what he thought would work. “I’m not sure what I’m about to make,” he admitted. “So you should leave.”

”I would rather not.” Keith rolled his eyes at that. Of course she wouldn’t. He hunted up some water when she said, “I would like to taste it once you’re done.”

”Whatever.”

”Hm.” Allura was watching him cook. Why was she watching him cook? “Keith, I wish to ask you a few questions.”

”O... kay?” Now the Alteans were confusing him.

He could hear Allura sit down as he cooked. “It’s about being Galra-bred, if you’re willing to speak about it. After what you said, I realized I am woefully ignorant about what...” She fell silent for a moment, the water starting to boil. “I am too sheltered and ignorant about what happened to my people,” she finally said. “As much as we call you Galra-bred, you should have also been considered Altean. You are as much Altean as I am. Your struggles... I wish to hear them.”

Keith paused for a moment. Was she serious? “You can’t actually want to hear that.”

”But I do! I failed you once, Keith, in not understanding the Galra-bred enough so you would be seen instantly by me that night. I don’t wish to fail you again.”

He sighed, adding the root to the boiling water. A few spices were added on top, hopefully in the right quantity. “You know I was declawed,” he said bluntly. “I knew I couldn’t reveal myself as Galra-bred when I saw a little Galra-bred girl get beheaded. I’ve had to run from the Galra ever since. Learned how to shapeshift into all sorts of things as I hid. I did... a lot of things I’m not proud of to survive.” He waited for Allura to ask, to want that to be explained, and relief filled him when she didn’t. “But I survived. I told myself I would find a way to make the Galra pay for killing my family, and I did. I found Voltron.”

”Do you regret being part of a team?” Allura asked him quietly.

Keith paused as he added the vegetable. “I regret they’re human,” he told her roughly. “Why?”

”Just a question!” He turned, glaring at her. “It really was only a question.”

He shook his head, going back to his cooking. It looked nothing like what his mother used to make. Carefully, he took a sip, and it didn’t taste anything like it either. But... it wasn’t bad. And it had an Altean taste to it. It just needed to cook for a bit.

”It doesn’t matter,” he told her, not turning from the pot. “We’ll beat the Galra empire. And then it won’t matter if they’re human.”

”What bothers you so much about them being human? Are they that annoying?”

He didn’t answer.

”That confusing?”

His hands clenched.

”Or is it the knowledge you’ll outlive them, as I know I will as well?”

”Get out,” he growled.

He knew he had just answered her question by doing that, but... he didn’t want to hear anymore. He didn’t want to hear her too accurate questions hitting him like that.

Allura sighed. “Keith. You can’t push all of us away. As a Paladin of Voltron, there are certain bonds you must have. Knowledge of your lifespan cannot be a reason to block one such bond.”

Keith hissed at her.

Finally, Allura stood. “Please, think about what I said.”

He watched her go, hearing the liquid boil over too late. Keith turned the heat down and stirred it, looking down into the depths.

Then he turned the heat off and poured himself a bowl.

He managed three sips before he realized he wasn’t hungry anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

Who cared that he was being reckless. Who cared that he was pulling away from the humans. None of them understood. If Allura died, she was dead. Alteans died. Same with humans. He could keep coming back, so-

And he would outlive all of them.

Keith growled, holding his bayard up as the gladiator came at him. That was the thing, wasn’t it. He was going to outlive them all no matter what.

He’d outlive Shiro.

Allura.

Lance.

The gladiator fell, sparking from the brutal blow.

They would all die before him. And he would be left alone yet again.

No. He wasn’t going to get involved with any of them. He had already made the mistake of thinking of Shiro as his father. It was time to stop doing that. None of them were anything past the Paladin bond. If he thought differently...

A hand touched his chest. The scar.

”Hey.” Keith didn’t turn at Lance’s voice. “Whoa, rude. You done in here? Shiro wanted to talk to us.”

He nodded.

”You could at least say something,” Lance groused.

Keith didn’t even give open his mouth.

Finally, Lance left. And Keith let out a long breath, his arms shaking slightly. He had to think of Lance as just another Paladin. That’s all he was. A Paladin. Someone that would help him bring down the Galra empire. He couldn’t think of him as anything else. He _couldn’t_.

Keith took a deep breath. Their leader wanted to talk. He would go listen.

He deactivated his bayard and went to go find Shiro.

  


* * *

  


Avoiding everyone in a castle of this size when there were only seven of them sounded easy.

He had forgotten how determined humans could be.

At first, it hadn’t been too bad. Hunk had stopped trying to do things for him, but he did always seem to be around. Pidge, he thought, would have also been avoiding him, but...

”Keith, can you help me get this off that shelf?”

He paused at her voice. The shelf in question was out of his reach, and probably both of theirs even if he picked her up. “I don’t think we’ll reach it.”

”You’re a shapeshifter, right? Shapeshift some height.”

Keith stared at her. “It’s... not that easy. I’ve always been around this height because of that.”

”Come on. I just need a little boost. An inch.”

He stared at her some more. “Wouldn’t you want Allura? Or Coran? Not someone who’s Galra-bred?”

”Allura and Coran aren’t not here. Now grow and let me get on your shoulders.”

He sighed. Humans. But he concentrated, frowning. He had never gotten this right. It had always been slight differences because he couldn’t do it. But... he could try something small like that. If he did, she might be able to reach it if she stretched really far.

”You are really bad at that.”

”I warned you,” he told her mildly. But he managed something. He leaned down slightly, letting Pidge crawl onto his back, then up onto his shoulders. Carefully, she reached out, chanting “c’mon, c’mon” under her breath until she crowed with success. “Got it?”

”Yup! Thanks!”

The words made warmth bloom in his chest as he let her down. She was smiling at him, something she hadn’t done since she found out he was Galra-bred. It made his lips-

No.

Keith turned away. He couldn’t do that. She was just a Paladin. She couldn’t be a friend. “You’re welcome.”

Before she could answer, he turned and left.

Damn these humans. He was getting too close.

  


* * *

  


He made Hunk cry.

That was why Shiro was yelling at him now.

Every word made Keith want to duck his head, and the feeling made him grit his teeth. This was only his leader. This wasn’t his father. This wasn’t-

”Do you understand, Keith?”

He wanted to agree. Keith licked his lips, slowly nodding his head.

Shiro sighed. “Keith, what’s wrong? You’ve been more than a little irritable lately. I know you’re easily swayed by your emotions, but this is a little more than usual.”

He was ten thousand years old and fighting the people who killed his family and he was just going to watch everyone he cared for die while he died and came back to life and Shiro was just going to stand here and be a father _yet again_ -

”Stop it,” he whispered. “Stop- just be my leader! Stop being nice, stop... stop being my father, damn it! You’re not... he died. He died ten thousand years ago and you’re going to die too someday and I’m-” Keith shut his mouth, teeth clacking shut, but the damage had been done.

Shiro blinked, stunned. “Keith, we-”

Keith hissed at him, then backed down as Shiro’s back straightened dangerously, his breath catching and Galra hand flexing. “You’re just Paladins,” he finally said. “We’re just Paladins. I won’t let that be anything else.”

”You don’t have to,” Shiro told him, voice still slightly dazed. “Bonds like family will make us stronger.”

”Or could completely fuck me over when you die in battle!”

”We all could die at any time, Keith. Even you.”

”But I’ll come back.”

”Not all the Galra-bred I saw die in the arena looked exhausted, Keith. And if you lose your head, literally, you’re not coming back.”

The words hit him hard. Keith looked away. “I still have a higher chance of coming back,” he said. “And no matter how much you remind me of him, you’re not my father. You never could be.”

With that, he turned and left.

  


* * *

  


Lance wasn’t paying attention.

_Lance wasn’t paying attention._

The Galra soldier aimed right at him.

Keith pushed Lance down, and pain filled him. He was missing his stomach. He- he was missing his entire abdomen. He couldn’t-

It hurt.

Lance was screaming-

  


* * *

  


Keith woke up.

Someone was holding his hand. He blinked, not quite recognizing the ceiling - was he back in the med bay? Had he died again? Slowly, he turned his head, only to see Lance resting his head next to his arm, soft snoring coming from him.

The hand holding his was Lance’s.

Keith turned his head the other way.


	13. Chapter 13

Damn the humans.

All of them.

All the Alteans, too.

The Galra had to know by now he was Galra-bred. Dying and coming back to fight another day like that- they had to know now. What they would do with that... Keith growled, curling up in bed. He was still so weak, and if they attacked now- if they found him, they might not kill him outright. If what Shiro said was true, he might have a fate in the arena in store for him.

Damn Lance.

Why hadn’t he paid attention?

Keith splayed his hand over his stomach. Over the scar. A new one, to match the ones on his chest and throat. How many more would he get with these humans?

He closed his eyes, exhaling. What was he doing...

His mind drifted...

And his eyes opened.

Blood everywhere. There was blood everywhere. He looked down at his hands, seeing them bleed freely. There was a slumped figure, Altean- his mother- no, Allura? And so many others. So, so many... his father was at his feet, no, it was Shiro, no- And he looked up, seeing a figure against the wall, staring right into his face, seeing-

Keith gasped, instantly waking up and bolting upright at the sight of Lance’s dead eyes staring right into him.

The room was empty. No blood. No one in the room. Nothing. It had been a nightmare.

He stood suddenly, feeling his legs shake under him as he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the room. No, he wasn’t staying here. He couldn’t. Not- no. Not now. If he stayed one more minute in this room, he was going to throw up.

Instead, he walked. By the lights, it seemed like it was ‘night’ in the Castle. Which meant he wouldn’t run into anyone. Pidge would be awake, but she didn’t come out of her room. And the other person that would be awake, Shiro... he shouldn’t run into Shiro. If he was careful, he wouldn’t run into Shiro.

Keith sighed. He never thought he would purposely be avoiding Shiro. But... he always should have. He never should have let Shiro talk him into joining the Garrison. Never should have gotten attached to him at all. He knew better. If Shiro wasn’t going to die before him, if they hadn’t found the Blue Lion, Keith would have had to run. The Galra had been closer than he realized. When they finally came, he would have had to hide himself again and run far away.

And of course now he was attached. He couldn’t be, though. He had to stop thinking of Shiro as... anything.

Something hot grabbed him, twisted him. Keith grit his teeth, trying to force it down. He wasn’t going to cry. No. He was stronger than that. This was a stupid reason to cry. He took several calming breaths, still feeling the hot twist in his chest.

No.

His father was gone. Shiro was just a Paladin. His leader. He was nothing!

Pain flared, clearing his head. He had clenched his fists, and the ache in his fingers pushed down the twist. He would be fine. Everything was fine. Finally, he took a deep breath, feeling in move easy in his chest. He was fine.

With that thought, he turned to go back to his room. His legs couldn’t keep him upright for much longer.

”Keith?”

Of course he’d run into Lance. “What?”

Lance did not look happy. What right did he have not to look happy? “We’re going to have a talk, right here, right now.”

Keith’s legs shook under him. “Yeah, no.” He started to walk around him, only for Lance to grab his arm. “Really?”

”You’re not getting away from this one.” Lance glared at him. “You’ve been avoiding all of us since we found out you’re half-Galra-”

”Galra-bred.”

”Whatever. And you just fucking died saving my life.”

”You weren’t paying attention,” Keith hissed at him.

”Maybe I wasn’t. But I didn’t fucking ask you to save my life!”

”Isn’t that part of being Voltron? We save each other’s lives?”

”Funny, I thought you were trying not to do that kind of thing. What, with the whole ‘oh I’ll just come back’ talk. Like you didn’t want any of us to save your life.”

”I don’t!” Keith snapped at him.

”Is that some kind of self-sacrificing bullshit there, or suicidal shit? Because by this point I can’t tell!”

”You don’t come back!”

Lance snapped his mouth shut, his eyes wide.

It was then Keith realized he had shouted the last part in Galra. But Lance had to realize what he just said. “You won’t come back,” he said firmly, feeling his legs shake under him. “I will. I-”

And then his legs gave out, and he collapsed against Lance.

”Whoa!” Lance shifted, wrapping an arm around his waist and steadying him. “You okay there? I didn’t overwhelm you, did I?”

Keith snorted. “That’s why I wanted to leave, dumbass. I’m still weak from dying.”

”Oh. You want help back to your room?”

”Want? No. Need?”

Lance grumbled.

Keith could feel Lance’s hands on him as they walked, holding him firmly. Almost... holding him reverently.

Keith closed his eyes.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t feel anything for Lance. It wouldn’t end well.

”Keith...” Lance’s voice was quiet. “I don’t like seeing you die.”

”Then don’t be stupid,” Keith snapped back at him.

Lance let out an angry noise. “That’s not what I mean! You dense... cat, I mean _I don’t like seeing you die._ ”

The emphasis meant nothing to him.

”I like seeing you be you. Be annoying and dense and fight everything. I like it when we’re being rivals! But I don’t like seeing you die because you have a chance of not coming back. I have a chance of outliving _you._ And you being Galra-bred means I shouldn’t have that chance.”

Keith blinked.

”If you don’t want a relationship with me, that’s fine. I get it. If you stop dying, you’ll outlive me. But that’s how it should be. You shouldn’t be dying for me, and I shouldn’t have to sit by the table hoping you’ll actually wake up this time!”

”Lance...”

”I fucking love you, okay? So stop dying on me so you can outlive me!”

”Then stop being in positions to die!” Keith wrenched himself away, stumbling. “Stop making me want to save your life.”

He didn’t know who moved first. All he knew was now Lance’s hands were holding onto the collar of his jacket, pulling him close, and he was pressing Lance against the wall.

He didn’t know who kissed who first.

But he knew he was the first one to pull away. “Stop it,” he whispered. “Stop making me love you.”

Before Lance could answer, he pushed away, heading for his room. He needed to be away from him. Away from all of this. Before he could grab Lance again, taste his lips again, perhaps even feel skin to skin...

He had to stop loving Lance.


	14. Chapter 14

He had said it. He had told Lance he loved him. Lance had told him he loved him back.

Why had he said it? Why had he ever admitted it to himself?

Quiznak.

They better find some Galra soon. He needed to fight something.

Keith exhaled sharply, looking down at his gloved hands. He needed to fight something now. He needed to- He needed to feel the thrill of a fight, he needed-

Fuck!

If he wasn’t so weak, he would be down in the training room! But no, he still had to be fighting off the last bit of weakness from dying. Damn it. Carefully, he stood, pacing in measured steps. He could do this. Just shake off the last bit of weakness, be ready.

He had to do this.

He needed to fight.

A knock at the door made him jump. Then sigh. If it wasn’t Lance, it had to be-

Shiro’s disapproving face met him when he opened the door. “Cadet,” he started, and Keith found his spine straightening. Oh quiznak. Shiro was taking him seriously when he said to stop acting like his father. “We need to talk.”

With a chill running down his spine, Keith let him in. Shiro had never treated him like this before. Yes, he had told him to just be a leader, not his father, but this... Shiro was _angry_ in a way he hadn’t even been when Keith had made Hunk cry. It unnerved him. He turned to meet Shiro, swallowing.

”What happened between you and Lance?” Shiro asked without preamble.

Oh quiznak his voice was even slightly cold. “I- we-” Fuck, Shiro didn’t even say anything, just waited for him to finish. Why was he doing this? “We kissed, okay? And we shouldn’t have. I told him that and-” He couldn’t finish.

”Lance has been exceptionally distractible during training today,” Shiro told him, making his stomach fall. “If this continues into battle, this may affect both our ability to form Voltron and his ability to survive the encounter.”

Keith swallowed.

”If you wish to not have any bonds with us, consider doing so in a way that does not impact your fellow Paladins.”

Keith couldn’t answer to that.

”Do you understand, cadet?”

”Yes, sir,” Keith told him, standing up straighter.

Shiro nodded at that. Then he left, and Keith could see his hands gripped tightly behind his back, as if trying to control himself.

And then the door closed and Keith closed his eyes.

Fuck.

  


* * *

  


Beat the Galra.

Kill the Galra.

That was all he needed to do.

Keith didn’t make a noise as he and Red flew, shooting down Galra as he went. He ignored the sounds of the rest of his teammates except if it was an order from Shiro or a mention of where the Galra were. Just... get through this.

”Guys, I think we need to form Voltron,” Lance said, worried.

Hunk followed up with “I think he’s right.”

Keith didn’t say anything as Shiro went quiet for a moment. Then said, “Yes. Everyone, form Voltron.”

He would form Voltron and kill the Galra.

Everything started to come together and then-

Didn’t.

”What the hell, Keith?” Lance yelled.

Keith wanted to yell back. Wanted to butt heads with Lance. Wanted- _wanted._ But that wasn’t what he needed from these humans. He needed a- a-

He stayed quiet. He didn’t know what he needed anymore.

It was just a normal, Paladin bond, right? Not- not being more than that, not-

They didn’t need to form Voltron. They could beat them like this. Everything would be fine.

Everything-

Keith screamed, howling, the first noise he had made since entering the cockpit. He shoved Red forward, away from the group. Towards the thick of battle.

Towards the worst of the fighters.

He would win this. They needed to kill the Galra!

Damn it, he would do this!

”Keith!”

He ignored Lance’s panicked cry as he screamed again. Noises - hissing, spits, howling - came from his mouth as he flew, unbidden. He just had to- he-

”Fall back, Keith! _Fall back!_ ”

He hissed.

”Keith!”

At Lance’s barked word, he grit his teeth. Then, as Shiro had ordered, fell back.

They retreated.

  


* * *

  


”Paladins, I am very disappointed in you.”

Allura’s cold voice washed over them. He could see Hunk ducking his head, but Pidge and Lance were raising theirs.

”It wasn’t our-”

”Keith was the asshole-”

”Enough.” Her voice cut over both of them. “Shiro, I wish to speak with you after. The rest of you will be confined to your rooms for the rest of the night. Without,” she continued, glaring at Pidge, “your usual toys.”

Lance and Pidge ducked their heads.

Keith just stared at the floor, digging pained fingers into his palm.

”Dismissed. Ah, Keith,” Allura corrected herself. “I wish to have a word with you as well.”

He didn’t want to talk to her. Keith was about to leave when Shiro spoke up.

”Red Paladin, you will stay here.”

His hands shook as he remained there, eyes fixed on a point on the floor.

”Your actions lost us the battle today. Not only that, but may have set us back quite a bit when it comes to forming Voltron. Care to explain yourself?”

Something inside him snapped.

”No. I don’t.” Keith raised his head, glaring. “I don’t care to explain myself to a fucking human being like-”

Allura’s hand flashed out, and slapped him soundly across the face. Keith stumbled at the force of the blow, realizing just how angry she was and how he had forgotten how strong Alteans were.

”I’ve put up with a lot from you,” she told him, her voice tight with anger. “But this is enough. You _will_ reform your bonds with the rest of the Paladins. You _will_ work with them to form Voltron again.”

”Or what? You’ll find a new Red Paladin?”

”I have no say on if you wish to make yourself miserable for the rest of your life, Keith. But I do have say on your actions if they affect Voltron. And if you want revenge for your family, you will shape up.”

Keith hissed at her.

She just stood there, unimpressed.

”You don’t understand,” he finally grit out. “You haven’t watched everyone you ever grown close to die.”

”My people are dead, Keith. Not all of them died before I was put into sleep.” There was something hidden under her voice, tight and controlled. “I’ve seen people die, perhaps as violently as you have. People I loved. But for the sake of the universe, I’m not going to let that color my relationships with others. For the sake of... myself, for my own happiness, I’m not going to push people away. This is a harsh war, Keith. We all need to be there for each other.”

Keith’s teeth grit tighter.

”If after this, you wish to be miserable, so be it. But we need you now.”

”You don’t need me at all!” Why did he say that? Keith’s eyes went wide as he realized he was trembling. “I’m just a Galra-bred. I’m just... I...”

He felt a hand on his arm, and when he looked up, Allura’s eyes were so soft. So much like... like eyes he hadn’t seen in ten thousand years...

”You’re more than Galra-bred,” she told him gently. “You’re the Red Paladin. You’re a part of Voltron.”

She looked like his mother.

Before he knew it, a sob escaped his throat.

She didn’t smell like his mother, he realized when she pulled him into a hug. She... she was too small. Her hair wasn’t right. But... but she was Altean. She was...

He clung to her as he felt a large hand in his fur, stroking it back. Just like his father used to do.

”It’s okay,” he heard Shiro say, his Galra still very clumsy.

”You can cry,” Allura told him, her light Altean a marked difference from Shiro’s Galra.

And it was... it was...

It was so familiar that he could pretend it was his mother and father, just for a moment, as he cried for the first time in ten thousand years into Allura’s shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15

”Maybe you could start by just being in the room with the others?” Shiro offered.

Keith played with the tip of one ear, looking away. He had asked how he could start rebuilding the bonds, and the first suggestion he got was not one he wanted. He didn’t want to be social. He hated being social. “Is there any way I can start without having to be around the others?”

”Don’t run away when the others ask you to stay? You’re going to have to be a little social, Keith. I know that’s not exactly something you like to do, but it’s something you’d have to do anyway, even if you weren’t trying to bond with us again.”

He grumbled.

”And apologize to Lance.”

Yeah, that was something he knew he needed to do. “How? I mean... I don’t really know how I’m going to do that. ‘Sorry for falling in love with you’?”

Shiro just groaned, placing his human hand over his face. “I miss the days you didn’t realize he was flirting with you,” he grumbled.

”How was I supposed to know?! Lance never was good at flirting before. I just figured all he knew how to do was fail at it.”

That just made Shiro shake his head. “As it is, you should at least apologize for rejecting him. Tell him you need time, if you need an excuse. And if I’m right... you do need some time to figure things out.” Shiro eyed him. “It wasn’t that long ago you found out you’re basically immortal, after all. Take some time to fully come to grips with that.”

Shiro... had a good point. He probably should. He had just snapped at everyone, pulled away. Looking at what he had learned, about his lifespan and the fact he’d come back and what it’d mean instead of instinctively reacting that he didn’t need anyone... “Okay.”

He closed his eyes as Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Keith,” Shiro told him gently. “We don’t hate you. We’re not going to push you away.”

”I know. I just...” Keith opened his eyes, looking away. “In a war like this, any of you could be dead in an instant. If we win it this generation, then how long do humans live? Until they’re one hundred? You won’t live nearly long enough. Not even the Alteans will. What then? You’ll all be dead!”

”Is it worth one hundred years of misery?” Shiro asked him. “Or... most of us would probably have children. Hunk seems like the type that would like a large family.”

Keith wasn’t sure if he knew what Shiro was getting at. “You mean... get to know your children?”

”And their children. And just stay with our families.” Shiro smiled at him a little. “You don’t have to be alone.”

”They won’t be you. There’s no guarantee I’ll like them.”

”Do you want to be alone once we’re dead?”

The memory of the food fight came back to him. Of the laughter he had. Of the warmth he had felt. The memory of the party, before the attack. Of Hunk playing around with him, making him laugh. Before he knew it, he had shook his head. He wanted to go back to that.

Shiro squeezed his shoulder. “Go talk to them. It’ll be okay.”

Keith nodded and turned to leave. Then paused. “Shiro... I’m sorry for being such an asshole lately.”

For a moment, there was silence. Finally, Shiro spoke up. “Apology accepted.”

Keith left.

  


* * *

  


Pidge was stubbornly trying to reach something out of her grasp on her Lion. Keith swallowed, then came over to her, grasping her by the waist and lifting her up.

”Whoa!” She tilted her head back to see Keith holding her, then quickly grabbed what she needed. “Got it. What was that all about?” she asked as Keith put her down carefully.

”You look like... you needed a boost up,” he told her.

Pidge stared at him for a moment, then started to laugh. “Yeah. I did. Thanks.”

His cheeks felt warm.

”Whoa, you blush purple!”

”Shut up,” he grumbled. “I came to apologize, not to be picked at like this.”

”Sorry, sorry. It’s just... kinda cute.”

Keith scrubbed at his cheeks a bit. “So I’m... I’m really sorry, Pidge. For acting like such an asshole. I shouldn’t have.”

”That’s really great and all, but I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” She turned, and pointed to the somehow half hidden Hunk. “You made _him_ cry, and you need to go hunt down the pining Lance and tell him sorry too.”

Keith nodded. He knew that already. “Okay. I’m still sorry, Pidge.” Then he went over to Hunk, swallowing. “Hey, Hunk.”

”Hey.” Quiznak, why did he have to smile up at him like nothing was wrong? “What’s up?”

”I... I just wanted to say I’m really sorry. For being an asshole and for making you cry.”

Hunk just smiled wider. “That’s okay. Apology accepted. Hey, can you pass me that?” He pointed to what appeared to be a wrench of some kind. Keith nodded, passing it over. “And hey, can you pass me that too?”

He swore he could hear Pidge laughing to herself as he passed Hunk something else.

”Cool, can you hold this...”

  


* * *

  


Hunk had kept him until he had repaired the entire thing.

He didn’t want to ever really get on his bad side. Ever.

But now it was time to find Lance and tell him. And that was going to be a big one. First, though, wash his hands. He had grease all over them from helping Hunk.

Keith sighed as the water ran over his hands, adding soap and scrubbing until the grease came off and ran down the sink as well. It had felt kind of rewarding to help Hunk. Like he was doing something right. And on top of that, being with Hunk and Pidge had made him laugh again. It had felt so nice. He hadn’t known he needed it until he had felt the first bubbles come up, and then it just felt... like a balm.

But now... came Lance.

Keith sighed, drying his hands. He didn’t know if he could do this. He... he didn’t want to see what Lance’s face would look like. If Lance couldn’t accept it...

Lance wasn’t like that.

He could do this.

But now came this question: Where was Lance?

Nowhere he looked had Lance. He tried the dining room, the training room, random halls... wait, maybe his bedroom? Keith started towards the room, thinking. If Lance wasn’t there, where would he be? He had to be in his room. Keith took a deep breath as he arrived, and knocked, hoping he was right.

Lance opened the door, surprised when it slid open to see Keith. “Oh. Hey, what’s up!”

”I uh...” Keith looked away. “I uh. Came to talk to you.”

”Oh.”

Silence fell between them. What would he say? “I-”

”So-”

They both stopped as they tried to talk at the same time. Keith rubbed the back of his head, looking away. “I want to apologize,” he finally said. “I’ve been an asshole.”

”Yeah. You kind of have.”

That hurt. “Hey! You haven’t gone through the same kind of things I have! I just found out I’m basically immortal and you came in all smooth and not like Lance at all-”

”And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

”You usually fail at flirting! And then you come in and be all nice and smooth and I don’t even have time to really take in the fact if I fall in love with you, you’ll definitely die before me and I have to come with grips that.” Lance’s eyes were wide as Keith paused, breathing raggedly. “I know I told you already I love you, but if I fall in love with you, I have to know I’m going to outlive you. I have to be okay with that. I have to be okay that in an unknown time period, that you’re going to be dead and I’m not.” Keith grit his teeth, shaking his head. “And right now, I’m not okay with that. I’m not okay with you dying at all. I love you and I want you to live.”

”Keith...”

”I’m not okay with any of this, Lance!” Keith closed his eyes tightly. “I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole, and I want to be your friend again. But I’m not okay with the fact that you’re going to be dead at any time!”

He felt gentle fingers on his, the usual pain drowned out by how kindly Lance took his hand, how light he pressed kisses to his empty claw beds. “I’m not okay with the fact the next time you die, you could be dead for good,” he whispered. “But I have to be. I love you.”

Keith’s hands closed tightly over Lance’s. “I just need some time,” he told him quietly. “Let me come to grips with... everything.”

There was another kiss to his fingers, then Lance lowered their hands, letting go. “Okay.”

Keith opened his eyes, seeing Lance smiling sadly at him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

”I know. Me too.”

  


* * *

  


They had been able to form Voltron again. It had felt so good to finally be a part of that again. To belong. He hadn’t realized how badly he had needed it.

”We need to get on the ship,” Pidge said grimly. “I can’t get any information out here. Someone with a Galra hand is going to need to jack in directly so I can get in. Keith?”

”Got it.”

”I’m going with him.”

”You sure, Lance?” Shiro asked as the Blue Lion followed him.

”They probably know by now he’s Galra-bred, right? Someone has to watch his back.”

He wasn’t wrong. “Just as long as you can keep up with me,” Keith told him.

Laughter spilled over the com link. “I’ll have to say the same thing!” came the teasing retort.

Keith laughed as well as they sped towards the ship. Once there, they boarded, instantly going for the nearest terminal. He knew he was Galra enough to use their tech. That wasn’t the problem. The problem-

”There!”

Were those fuckers. Keith looked over at Lance. Then, he grabbed him, hand wrapped around the back of Lance’s neck to pull him close so he could press his helmet against Lance’s. “Don’t die.”

Lance pressed his hand against the back of Keith’s neck. “You too.”

He grinned as he let go, pulling out his bayard to engage the enemy. Behind him, he could hear Lance doing the same, and measured shots rang out behind him. It was so easy, working with Lance. His bayard flashed in the purple lights, cutting down the guards with ease. They just needed to get to-

Keith felt something seize him by the throat and toss him across the hall. His back hit a wall, and he fell in a pained heap. Slowly, he stood, hearing a Galra soldier come closer. “So the Red Paladin is a little Galra-bred,” came the thoughtful voice. “I suppose having a Paladin in the arena is a new thing. That’s all your kind are good for, isn’t it?”

He grit his teeth. No. He wouldn’t- Just as the soldier came close, he struck, the blade rushing up under the soldier’s jaw. “I’m not going anywhere,” he hissed into the dying soldier’s face. Keith kicked the soldier off his blade, looking up. “Lance, we need to get to the terminal.”

No answer.

”Lance! Come in!”

No answer.

There was no more fighting going on anywhere near him.

” _Lance!_ ”


	16. Chapter 16

There was no fighting. A lot of downed guards, and- blood. Galra blood. Human blood.

Human blood.

Keith’s eyes went wide. There was human blood. Where was the human blood? Why was there human blood? His arms trembled as he stepped forward, looking around. Where was the blood? Where was Lance? “Come in! Lance! _Lance!_ ”

He... he told him...

There. Lance was slumped against the wall, bayard held against his stomach. As Keith approached, he opened his eyes, sluggishly raising the rifle before seeing the armor and relaxing, closing his eyes again. But that had been enough for him to see the wetness across Lance’s stomach. Keith rushed in as he holstered his bayard, fingers under the helmet to cup Lance’s jaw. “Hey. Stay with me.”

Lance didn’t answer, just slumped in his arms.

”Come on. Wake up. You just woke up there.”

Nothing.

He needed to get him back to the ship. Lance was still alive, for the moment. If he got him back, he could get him into the cryopod. And he would be fine. Keith took a deep breath, picking Lance up. He had to- He had to get him somewhere safe.

Quiznak, he was so still in his arms...

”We’re aborting the mission,” Keith said shortly into his com link. “Lance is hurt.”

”What?! What happened?” Shiro’s voice came over the link, worried.

”I don’t know. We’re coming back now.”

”We’ll cover you.”

Keith nodded, heedless of the fact Shiro couldn’t see him. “Got it.”

Lance was _so still_ in his arms...

”There! The Paladins!”

Galra.

Keith growled.

The next thing he knew, there were dead Galra around him, the hall absolutely filthy with Galra blood, and Lance-

Lance was slumped on the floor, too still.

”Damn it,” Keith whispered. His bayard was in his hand (when had that happened?), dripping with blood. He was... they were...

It didn’t matter. He needed to get Lance out of there.

Keith holstered his bayard again, picking up Lance and heading out. Before exiting, he made sure Lance’s helmet sealed so they could walk to the Lions- Lion. Blue apparently had already left. Leaving Keith to take Lance back in Red. Keith carefully got in, placing Lance on the floor before flying out, fighting the urge to rejoin the battle. Just... get Lance back to the Castle. Get Lance to a cryopod. Get Lance okay.

Get Lance okay.

When he returned, Coran was waiting for them. Keith almost ripped the harness off, turning for Lance. He was so still, almost... not breathing... Keith picked him up and started out quickly, not even bothering to wait for Coran as he headed towards the cryopods. Lance needed to be okay. He needed to be okay.

There was a cryopod ready, Coran going over to the side, waiting for him.

Lance went right in.

Keith sighed in relief as the door closed, sagging slightly. He was okay. He-

An alarm instantly went off. Keith jumped, going over to Coran. “What’s going on?”

”I don’t-” The alarm shut off just as soon as it started, and Keith looked up at Lance, shaking. What just happened? He turned his gaze back to Coran, who was fiddling with the readout, then froze.

”Coran?”

”Keith... perhaps it would be for the best if you are not here.”

”Coran, what happened to Lance?”

”Please, Keith. Return to your room.”

Keith growled, shoving Coran out of the way. He hadn’t read Altean in a long time, but he could figure it out. What had Coran seen? What was wrong? Lance... had been really badly hurt. He had lost enough blood that he had-

”Why had his heart stopped while he was in the cryopod?” Keith asked, his voice low.

”Keith, you certainly got him here quickly. But he had lost quite a bit of blood. With how much blood he lost, there is a continued risk of cardiac arrest and possible death, even with the cryopod.”

He just stood there for a moment.

Even with the cryopod, Lance could die.

”Never fear. I will stay here and watch over him. If anything changes-”

Keith howled. Snarled. Clawed at the cryopod, the pain rushing through his hands.

And then he felt a prick in his neck, and numbness fell through him. Keith slumped onto the floor, unable to move as he heard Coran calling for someone, but he couldn’t hear who. He could just lay there. Could just be moved like a doll onto a table by Coran, laying on his back.

Lance could still die.

”Coran?”

”Ah, Shiro. Keith is over here.”

”What happened? You didn’t give too many details before.”

”That is- I didn’t wish to have the others hear this. It caused Keith to fall into a mating rage.”

”Mating rage?”

”Yes.” Coran’s voice was a bit regretful. “Galra and Alteans are similar in the way that we both rage when our mates are fatally injured. It appears that Lance... may be injured as such.”

Shiro didn’t immediately answer, and Keith couldn’t move. Couldn’t even close his eyes.

”And Keith?”

”Sedated. He was injuring himself in his rage.”

”I see.” Shiro fell silent for a moment. “Coran, let me know immediately if there is any change to Lance’s condition.”

”Of course.”

”I’ll take Keith back to his room.”

Keith just had to let Shiro pick him up. Had to let him take him back to his room. Had to let him take him away from Lance.

Lance.

He had to be okay. He just had to. He...

He wasn’t ready.

  


* * *

  


”Yo.” Pidge waved a hand in front of Keith’s face. “Space to Keith.”

Keith looked up at her slowly. Either those were some good sedatives or Altean ones hit him extremely hard, as they still weren’t out of his system. “Hm?”

”You there? Shiro wants us to train.”

”Hm.”

He could barely even think under this sedative. He couldn’t train like this. But... he stood, swaying slightly. He had to try. Keep busy. Keep...

A slight whine escaped his throat, making Pidge’s eyes go wide. “Oh no. Don’t go weird on me.”

”Can’t train,” he finally said, voice coming out slowly, sitting back down. “Can’t... Lance.”

She nodded, sitting next to him. “Yeah. He’s... he’s still in there. I mean, it’s a good sign that he is, right?”

Keith shook his head. “Should be out.”

Pidge bit her lip. “Yeah... that was dumb of me to say that. But... what I was trying to say I guess was... it’s good that he’s still in there and that he’s not... out because the cryopod can’t do anything. That he’s still fighting.”

The longer he was in there, though...

”I’m no good at this,” Pidge muttered. “I should send Hunk down here. He’s better at this kind of thing.”

”Hm.” Keith looked over at her. “Thanks.”

She smiled a little. “Shiro’s still going to want to see you. So get up and make your way down there, kitty cat.”

He grunted as she got up and left. She was right. Shiro would want to see him, even if it was to tell him to go back to his room. Or back to the rec room like this. Closing his eyes, he gathered his strength and stood again, slowly making his way out of the room.

Lance was still in the cryopod. Still. And they had no idea how long he’d be in there.

And... the longer he was in there, the more Keith thought that he would never come out.

  


* * *

  


Lance still wasn’t out.

Keith stared up at him. The sedatives had worn off by now, so it felt so keenly in his chest when he looked up at Lance. When he realized that Lance was... not waking up. That he might...

The reason he might not be waking up is he might be brain dead...

Quiznak. Keith grit his teeth, eyes screwed shut. He wasn’t going to think about it.

But...

He had to.

Lance might not ever be waking up again. He may only be kept alive by the cryopod.

He... would have to be okay with this. He would... have to say goodbye.

...

He wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

”I barely knew you,” he whispered. “You weren’t supposed to die until I got to know you. Until we _won._ You were supposed to prove me wrong about me thinking we might not win this generation. You were supposed to... do all kind of things with me...”

Lance didn’t answer.

”And now I have to be okay with saying goodbye to you.” Keith placed his hand on the cryopod, then shook his head. “I’m not. I’m not okay with it. I don’t want to say goodbye.” He inhaled deeply, looking up into Lance’s still face. “But if I have to, make it so I’m saying goodbye to a corpse. Not to this.”

Lance didn’t answer.

Keith lowered his hand.

He didn’t say goodbye as he walked away. It wasn’t time yet.

He wouldn’t say goodbye until Lance was truly dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wonderful Zenthisoror drew beautiful art of the hug scene: http://zenthisoror.tumblr.com/post/154423364821/for-the-first-time-in-10000-years-13122016-a
> 
> Thank you so much!!!


	17. Chapter 17

The mating rage was annoying. And embarrassing.

He had... kind of known about it? His mother had been wild when his father had been hurt, and in return, when she had been killed, his father had gone berserk. But he never connected that to lovers. To... how he felt about Lance.

And every once and awhile, he would remember that Lance was in the cryopod, that he was probably only kept alive by it, and...

Well, that would be the reason he was currently on his back, staring up at the ceiling, head ringing from Hunk’s blow. It was for the best, and he knew Hunk felt terrible for doing that to him, but wow that hurt. But it snapped him out of the rage, left him feeling embarrassed that he had just been snarling in Pidge’s face. “Sorry,” he said thickly, not yet getting up.

”You’ve got to get that under control,” Pidge told him, her voice slightly rattled.

Keith closed his eyes. He knew that. But... That meant saying goodbye. And Lance wasn’t dead yet. Slowly, he sat up, pleased the world didn’t spin as he did so. Hunk bent down, worried. “I’m okay,” he assured him. “Just... let me sit here for a bit.”

Quiznak.

He would need to say goodbye soon. It was something he knew would be coming eventually anyway. Humans weren’t immortal. He knew the human lifespan. They would all die eventually, if they weren’t killed in battle. But... he didn’t want to lose Lance so soon. Lance had forced himself into his life so early on that he just... _was_ a part of his life. He felt... alone without him.

Even with Pidge and Hunk talking around him, making him feel less lonely, he still felt... alone. The closest he had gotten to not feeling alone was with Shiro, but... ever since Lance went into his coma, it just showed how close yet far away it was. It wasn’t the feeling he had with Lance, the overwhelming annoyance and slight amusement and inescapable fondness. Keith just... wanted to pin him down, dominate him, kiss him silly, and nuzzle into him and let that light feeling he first had when they had the food fight, the laughter they shared bubble into him again.

He wanted Lance back.

Abruptly, he stood. “I’m going for a walk,” he announced, leaving before they could say anything. He just needed to get out of there before his mind dwelled on Lance any longer and he went into a rage again.

Why did he ever come to love a human? This was the stupidest thing ever. Shiro was right; he did miss the days he didn’t realize Lance was flirting with him. The days he didn’t realize he was starting to fall for Lance. It would be nice to go back to those days.

... he needed to say goodbye. He couldn’t ever go back to those days. And he knew what the truth was: Lance wasn’t going to wake up. He needed to go to the cryopod and tell Lance he loved him and goodbye.

He just... wasn’t ever ready for it. Losing any of them... he wasn’t ready yet.

Keith closed his eyes, and slammed his fist against the wall. “I am immortal,” he whispered to himself, feeling the shock run up his arm. “They’re all going to die before I’m ready anyway, even if it’s from old age.” Slowly, he opened his eyes. “I’m not going to be ready for any of them to die.”

The words hurt to say.

”Even if Lance wakes up, he’s going to die before I’m ready. I’m never going to be ready.”

He could feel himself shaking apart, his control slipping.

”I need to say goodbye.”

Keith growled, digging his fingers into the wall, trying to use that pain to keep himself grounded. Saying it aloud... hurt worse. But it made it cement further in his mind: he needed to go.

Maybe if he went to say goodbye, it would help distance it in his head. Help him stop going into rages.

Didn’t hurt to try.

Keith turned and headed towards the cryopods. Every step shook something inside of him, made him want to growl. Made something want to snap, to go wild. But he held on. He had something to do.

Coran looked over at him as he entered. “Oh! Keith. I assure you, all is well. Lance has been doing quite well!”

”He’s still not awake,” Keith said, making Coran deflate slightly.

”No. He is not. He... should be waking any time now.”

”You’ve said that before.” Keith’s voice didn’t hold any heat. He knew.

Coran deflated further. “Yes. I have.”

He wanted to break. To claw at the pod, to pull Lance free.

”Can I have some time alone with him?” Keith asked quietly.

”I don’t believe that’s the wisest-” Coran stopped, shaking his head. “Ah. I see. Yes. Please let me know when you’re done.” His eyes were sympathetic as he left, knowing exactly what Keith was doing.

Once alone, Lance just laid there, as still as ever. Keith placed his hand on the pod, swallowing. “You were a real jerk when we met,” he told him, his voice slipping into Galra. It wouldn’t be private considering the translators, but it felt more personal this way. “I didn’t understand why you wanted to be my rival. I thought it was some human thing. You confused me. But you just kept being a part of my life. You kept trying to be my rival, trying to outdo me. And then you realized you could flirt without being terrible at it and you flirted with me.” Keith closed his eyes. “You... you cared about me. You probably always did in some way. And you became such a part of my life that... I need you here.”

Keith took a shaking breath, pressing his forehead against the cryopod. “I need you, Lance,” he whispered. “I feel so alone without you. But... you... I...”

He couldn’t say the words.

He had to.

”You always make things hard,” he said, laughing a little. “Even something as simple as trying to let you go.” Keith cleared his throat, opening his eyes and pulling away from the cryopod. His hand dropped by his side, and he squared his shoulders. He could do this. Even ten thousand years ago, he had been an adult. “Lance. I-”

The hissing of the cryopod made him jump. Keith felt his heart pounding, the pulse in his throat as the cover lifted, and Lance fell, Keith moving so he caught him-

Lance was warm. And breathing. _Breathing._

He was opening his eyes.

”Hey there.”

Keith just stood there for a moment, his mouth open.

Then he shoved him up against the wall. He felt Lance’s hands come up behind his head, tangling in his fur as he leaned in, Lance meeting the kiss with his own.

Lance was alive. In his arms. Kissing him back.

If Lance noticed he was holding him just a little tightly after, he didn’t say anything.


	18. Chapter 18

”Get up, you’re heavy,” Keith grumbled.

”Aw, but you love me anyway.” Lance blew him a kiss, not getting off him yet.

”Not the time.”

”Keith’s right,” Shiro said with a sigh. “Focus.”

The two of them scrambled to their feet as Pidge made retching sounds. “Can we have one training session where you two aren’t flirting with each other?” she grumbled.

”Not my fault!” Keith waved his hand at Lance. “He fell into me!”

”Aw, baby, not my fault I’m falling for you.”

Where did the good at flirting Lance go? He missed that Lance. But at the same time... Keith snorted, amused. It was just so _bad_ that he couldn’t help but laugh. That was so like Lance. The laughter bubbled in his chest, light and airy as he shook his head. “Let’s just get back to training.”

”Okay, pretty kitty.”

Shiro slid a hand under his helmet, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Lance. Focus.”

Lance smirked, winking at Keith. Warmth bloomed across Keith’s cheeks as they went back to training. Damn it. Even now, Lance got under his skin. While he still tried to outdo him, he added in obvious flirting knowing that Keith felt the same way about him.

And yet...

Keith looked over at Lance.

And promptly fell onto the floor, having been hit in the head.

Shiro sighed. “Everyone, take ten.”

  


* * *

  


”Keith?”

”Hm?” Keith closed his eyes as Lance rested his head on Keith’s chest as they rested on Lance’s bed, reaching up to run his fingers through Keith’s fur.

”Your hair’s really soft. Kind of like fur.”

Keith sighed, leaning into Lance’s touch. “That’s because it is. Galra are furry, Lance, and I’m half-Galra.”

”Yeah, but it’s shaped like hair.”

Keith shrugged slightly. “I never questioned it.”

Lance went quiet for a moment, and Keith just waited. He knew Lance was considering something that was a little-

”Where else are you furry?”

There it was. “My torso and the top of my legs. It’s not that dense, though.”

Lance lifted his head, grinning wickedly. “Can I see?”

Keith snorted. “You know every time we even start kissing something happens.”

”I know.” Lance groaned, dropping his head again. “I was really being romantic last time and everything.”

”You were playing some weird music.”

”Excuse me, Barry White is considered lovemaking music for all generations.”

Keith just blinked at him. “I don’t even know who that is.”

Lance buried his head into Keith’s chest. “This is just embarrassing,” he said, his voice muffled. “You were on Earth. You should know who Barry White is.”

”Music was not on my list of things to learn.”

”Well then, I’m going to have to change that!” Lance sat up, his face bright. Despite himself, Keith found himself sitting up as well, a moth drawn to Lance’s flame. “First, we’re going to start with some songs from good ol’ Cuba. I listened to these as a baby Lance. Hold on, let me get my stuff.” Lance got off the bed, searching his room as Keith sighed, watching him. He really was passionate about this.

And anything Lance was passionate about... well, he could at least listen to a little of it.

  


* * *

  


”Keith. Keith, wake up.”

He snapped awake at Lance’s voice, sitting up. That was- he- Lance was right there. He was alive. He was okay. Keith reached out, grabbing Lance’s arms and pulling him close.

”Hey, shh, shh.” Lance stroked his fur back, making soothing noises. But he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand that Lance had almost died, that he would die, he would die too soon- “Shh. I’m here now. It’s okay.”

”Don’t die on me,” Keith managed to whisper in his ear, still holding him tight.

”I’m not dying right now.” Lance cupped the back of his head, pulling his head to rest against his shoulder. “It’s okay.”

Keith held onto him, his grip still tight. Then, slowly, he relaxed, shaking his head a little. “You’re going to die some day,” he managed to say, still gripping him.

”Humans do that. But I’m not dying right now. So it’s okay.”

He wasn’t dying right now. Lance was right there, in his arms.

Keith nodded.

”Come on.” Lance pulled him back down on top of him as they laid back down. His heartbeat sounded under one ear as Keith laid there, strong and sure. It made his eyes close, made him relax just a little more. Lance was there. He was okay. He was alive.

”I love you,” he whispered.

”I love you too, pretty kitty.” There were fingers in his fur, turning the words from flirtation into soft endearment. “Let’s get some more sleep before we have to get up for training.”

”Mm.”

Like this, with Lance’s heartbeat in his ear, his arms around him he felt...

At peace.

He hadn’t felt like that in ten thousand years.

And with that, he slipped back into sleep, a small smile crossing his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, it is done! This was a fun exercise. And thank you all so much for your support. Shoutout to infiniterhapsody for helping me plot this out, and Zenthisoror for the awesome fanart! If you haven't seen the fanart yet, check it out. It is beautiful: http://zenthisoror.tumblr.com/post/154423364821/for-the-first-time-in-10000-years-13122016-a
> 
> Thank you all so much. I cannot stress that enough. I love you all.


End file.
